Heart of Steel
by chrisdotz
Summary: Set after a slightly altered Mind of Steel ending from the Heavens Feel route, Shirou is now living his dream. He has become a hero. But did he really make the right choice?
1. Prologue

Ilya - ...I see. So you're choosing the same method as Kiritsugu. You're going to cast away the person you love most for people you don't even know about.

Shirou - That's right. Kiritsugu and I are the same. If you want to curse someone, you can curse me.

Ilya - I pity you Shirou. You're going to be deceiving yourself forever with that crying face of yours.

**(Later)**

Kirei - The operation is complete. There is nothing more I can do.

Rin - ...So how's Sakura Kirei?

Kirei - I have done my best, that is all I can say. Matou Sakura is sleeping, she should wake up tomorrow morning. What will you do as the successor of the Tohsaka family Rin?

Rin - I don't even have to say it. It's the supervisors duty to eliminate a magus who has turned into a heretic. All the more so if the magus is a relative of mine...Aren't you going to stop me Emiya-kun?

Shirou - ...Yes I am. You shouldn't be the one to do this, I should.

Rin - ...What was that Shirou?

Shirou - I said I should be the one doing this, now move out of my way.

Rin - Shirou, are you even hearing yourself speak right now? Do you know what you're saying? No, this is my duty, and I won't let anyone else take my place.

Shirou - Tohsaka, stop lying to yourself. You can't do this and you know it, now step aside for someone who can.

Rin - Emiya-kun, if you take one step forward, I will...

Shirou - ...Thank you Kotomine. I can't have her trying to stop me now.

Kirei - No no, the pleasure was all mine Emiya Shirou. However, that being said, things are now looking interesting.

Shirou - And why is that?

Kirei - Because you have become him. You have become just like Emiya Kiritsugu, and so you must win this war, even without a Servant. Yes indeed, things have become very interesting.

Shirou - Why do I need to win this war? I'm not a Master anymore, I just need to make sure no one else gets hurt.

Kirei - That is exactly why you must win Emiya Shirou. Because there is no way that any of these people can be saved if anyone other than you retrieves the Holy Grail. Knowing it's true identity, you would strive above all others to gain it, to stop it.

Shirou - It's true identity?

Kirei - It is all the evils of the world, Angra Manyu. During the third Grail War, a forbidden Servant was summoned. Avenger. He was intended to easily defeat all enemies of the Einzberns, and they broke every rule they could to make sure that happened. However, the spirit that was summoned was nothing but a normal boy who had been cursed by his village. He had been made into a living devil, blamed for everything bad that happened to them. So it was only natural that he became spiteful of humanity. When he was summoned, and subsequently defeated, he was absorbed back into the grail. He tainted it, and now only the most destructive and evil means to an end can come about. That is why you will win, because only you know what to do with that kind of power.

Shirou - So, Tohsaka...and Ilya...

Kirei - Yes, they will be fighting for such a thing. And they will not hesitate to use it.

Shirou - Then...you are right Kotomine. I will win this war. Just like Kiritsugu did.

Kirei - Yes, you are very similar to Emiya Kiritsugu. However, I am not sure how similar you are. For example...

Shirou - What, her? I know well enough that I can't beat Archer...so I guess you're right. I'll do what needs to be done.

Kirei - Hmm...This has become interesting indeed. If you need any help Emiya Shirou, I am always here.

Shirou - I can't trust you Kotomine...but on the rare chance I think you will be of help, I will come to you. Don't forget though, if I think of you as a threat to my goal....I will not hesitate.

Kirei - I did not doubt that for a moment.

**(The Next Day)**

Shirou - So you're telling me he's dead?

Kirei - Yes Emiya Shirou, Matou Zouken is no longer among the living. He died with Matou Sakura. Congratulations, only one Master remains.

Shirou - ...Ilya...Kotomine, what do you think she will do with the Holy Grail?

Kirei - I do not know Emiya, and I doubt that she knows. She has been made purely to retrieve the Holy Grail. That has been her entire life. The only thing she knows besides this, is that Emiya Kiritsugu was her enemy, and the man who has taken up his mantle is now her enemy. She could very well use it against you.

Shirou - ...You're right. She needs to be stopped. Do you know where she is right now?

Kirei - I'd imagine she is heading to the Ryudou temple. That is where the Holy Grail will materialize when it is complete. However, since every master is dead, the Grail should have materialized by now to the only remaining pair. Since it hasn't, one can only assume that Berserker is not the only Servant remaining.

Shirou - Who's left? I know Rider is gone, Caster was defeated by Saber, Assassin went away with Zouken, he also killed Saber, and Archer died...so I guess Lancer?

Kirei - No Emiya Shirou, Lancer is no longer in this world. He was my Servant, and was one of the first to be eliminated.

Shirou - So who is left?

Kirei - From the feel of things, Archer. And my Archer is currently fighting with him right now.

Shirou - Wait, what?!

Kirei - My Servant from the previous Grail War remained in this world, and is currently fighting with the Archer from this world. And as I suspected, they are at the Ryudou Temple.

Shirou - Well then it's obvious what is going to happen.

Kirei - You are going to stop them?

Shirou - No, we are going to kill them.

Kirei - We? I will have you know that if my Servant wins, I will not stop him from retrieving the grail.

Shirou - Fine, but if he doesn't, or if I beat him, I expect you to help me.

Kirei - ...What shall I do if this is the case?

Shirou - You need to kill Ilya.

Kirei - That is a rather daunting task Emiya Shirou. Killing Ilyasviel while she still has Berserker will not be plausible.

Shirou - That's why I'm going to fight Berserker. I'll stall him while you take care of the main problem.

Kirei - ...Agreed. I was right about you Emiya Shirou, you make everything around you interesting.

Shirou - I'm not sure what to think about that.

**(Later That Day)**

Archer - So Emiya Shirou, you have come. I knew you would. And you've brought someone else...

Shirou - You remember what we agreed on Kotomine?

Kirei - Yes I do. I shall uphold my end of the bargain.

Archer - If you're looking for Ilya, she will be here momentarily. She has accepted my only request; she has allowed me to kill you.

Shirou - Are you going to stand in my way Archer?

Archer - Of course I am. What you are doing is the same as what I did. You are ignoring what Emiya Kiritsugu's life was like. You never noticed how terrible everything was for him. The regret that the path you are walking brings...It doesn't matter though. That's why I am here. Don't curse me Emiya Shirou, whether you believe it or not, I am actually saving your life. You wouldn't be able to handle that path. You aren't strong enough.

**(After The Fight)**

Shirou - I'm going to make this simple Ilya, let me get the Holy Grail, and this will end peacefully. Please, don't stand in my way.

Ilya - So you beat Archer, Shirou? Tell me, did you learn anything from that experience? Do you regret anything that you've done?

Shirou - I learned plenty Ilya. But we shouldn't talk like this. Berserker can't hold out much longer can he? And besides, I can see it in you. You want to kill me too. You want to kill me for abandoning you. Well, here's your chance.

Ilya - ...Fine Shirou. Have it your way. You aren't my Onii-chan anymore.

Berserker - **___________!**

Shirou - Oh, Ilya, before this all begins, I do have something more to say. I have no regrets, this was my only path. My whole life is _Unlimited Blade Works!_

**(After That Fight)**

Kirei - So this is the end, Emiya Shirou. Tell me, what will you wish for?

Shirou - I don't have a wish Kotomine. I just wanted this to end with as little blood as possible, so I made it happen. I didn't need the Holy Grail for that.

Kirei - You never cease to amaze me Emiya. So, tell me, what will you do next?

Shirou - Me? I don't know. I'll see if I can get any work in Japan, but if I can't I'll head west. I heard the Russian sect of the Association is in disorder. I suppose I could straighten that out before they all kill everyone.

Kirei - You would probably do well to learn more magecraft first. Ah, but that is not your style, is it? Regardless, for any Japanese jobs you have, I am always at your beck and call.

Shirou - Don't kid me Kotomine. You just enjoy this. That being said, you're efficient and aren't dumb enough to go against me. If I need help, I might call for you.

Kirei - True, very true. One question before you go though: What will you tell those closest to you?

Shirou - ...You almost made me laugh. The ones closest to me? I killed them, and you watched me do it. I don't think I have anything more to say to them.


	2. Chapter 1: A True Hero

The site of it all perplexes me. It may have been two years since I started 'formal' training, but I don't really think I'm quite ready for everything that's being thrown at me. I mean, right now, I'm talking to a bird. And miraculously enough, it's talking back. "That depends, what do you think you can offer me? Well, if I'm going to take this job, I'm going to need a few simple things. Transportation to begin with. I'm on an Island nation, what do you want me to do?"

Two years ago I made a decision. I was met with a choice. An obvious choice, really. Sacrifice one person, or sacrifice everyone for that one person? Which do you think I chose? "This is my first job, I don't have the money to get out of here on my own funds. Suffice to say, if you give the job to me, I'll get it done. Minimal. Minimal. Just his location, some of his basic credentials, family members, and guards. That's basic recon, if you can't provide that then you wont get anyone to do this. Like it or not, that's just how it is."

No, that's not entirely correct. I didn't sacrifice one person to save everyone, I sacrificed three people. Matou Sakura, the girl who loved me with all her heart; Tohsaka Rin, the girl who would do anything to avoid facing the truth; and Ilyasviel von Einzbern, the girl who just wanted her father back, and maybe get a brother in the process. It almost makes me feel a tad bit misogynistic.

"Fine. Yeah. That sounds good to me. The fifteenth? That fits well enough into my schedule. Yes. Give me two weeks, maximum. Four, but that requires a good deal of luck on my part. I'd say ten is a good estimate. We'll discuss that after I've dealt with the target. I'm sure you'll be spying on me as I work anyway, so you should know how to contact me. Let me know when you get my ticket ready."

And so, that was that. I killed them, knowing full well that I was the only one who should have. Try as I might, I had no other choice. To save everyone else, they had to die. I didn't do it alone though. In fact, I would be dead if not for my good friends help. He's also the one who got me to where I am today. Officially, I'm an assassin, but things are never that simple.

"He sounded unwilling to be of any use." The woman, or rather the girl, who said that must have been eavesdropping on our conversation. I'm used to it by now, that's just how Kariya is. I met her around a year ago, shortly after graduating High School, when I moved in with Kirei.

"You'd be surprised how many people don't like dealing with assassins." I've come to realize that my voice has become flat lately. It sounds like I'm uninterested in all of my conversations. I blame both Kirei and Kariya for that. "Are you coming with? Or should I find someone else?"

Her eyes light up as I ask. That's a telltale sign that she's about to make fun of me. "What's this? The great Emiya Shirou needs help?" Bingo. She's so predictable sometimes.

"Of course I need help, not only is this my first job but I can't do magecraft beyond strengthening and projecting, you know that. It's useful, but I'll need someone else to help with reconnaissance. That would be you, or anyone else I can get to help."

After hearing that, she pouts a little before asking "Oh, so I'm really not special to you at all?" I can't help but smirk at that. I don't even know what it's supposed to mean, but I find it a little funny.

"No, you aren't. And don't expect to be." My answer may seem mean, for lack of a better term, but it's all in good fun. It's just how we act around each other. As expected, she frowns at me.

"Man, you're cold. Kotomine was right. Well, I guess that works for me though. Don't need someone getting all emotional in the middle of a mission, do I?" She makes it sound like she's always on missions. I haven't seen her leave the church in months. Then again, aside from getting ingredients, I'm not much better.

"I suppose not, I wouldn't know. And it's not a matter of emotions, it's doing what needs to be done." 'Do what needs to be done'. That seems to be my new motto. Whatever it takes, so long as it gets done. If no one else will, I suppose I have to. But I shouldn't complain. I mean, I enjoy being a hero. In fact, it's pretty much the only thing I enjoy.

"Oh? And what needs to be done? And why do you need to do it?" She's an idiot, for anyone wondering. I've told her this at least a dozen times, but it never seems to sink in.

"The world needs to become a better place. And I need to do it because no one else can handle it. Hey, you don't happen to speak Romanian, do you?"

**(Some time later)**

"He says 'Welcome Mr. Emiya, I hope you enjoyed your flight. I apologize for not being able to meet you in person, I am rather busy at the moment. If you will follow this bird, you will find my home near the Tampa Mountain. I realize that it is a fair ways away, but I would appreciate it if you didn't take public transportation. I do not trust anything in this city anymore.'"

The man talking to me was a little taller than me, with short black hair and dark skin. He had a few scars running up and down his forearms, and a steely gaze that never sat still. He was my interpreter, Gary Armstrong.

"Hmph, he's paranoid." I couldn't help but doubt my employer. Not the least bit because all of a sudden the interpreter he had was gone, and I had to get my own. Lucky for me Kariya knew someone who spoke a whole bunch of languages. Even better, he wasn't a part of either the church or the association. He's a freelancer, much like myself.

"No, he's smart. At least, in a few cases. I don't know if this area has a train, but if it doesn't he's right." From what I can tell this guy is blunt, but pretty good once you get beneath the surface. "..Anything wrong man?"

"Hmm?" I didn't notice until now, but my eyes have been darting around pretty fast, and my left foot has been rapidly tapping the floor. "Just a little tense, I suppose. I guess I could use something to calm my nerves."

On these words Armstrong quickly pulls out a small white box and opens the top. He takes out one small stick and hands it to me. It takes a moment for me to register it, but he's offering me a cigarette. "...You got a lighter?"

He takes one out and lights up the end for me. I inhale, and start coughing up a storm. Truly, this is terrible. Not to mention it looks like I'm either making a scene or have a terminal illness. "Oh, yeah, sorry about that. You'll cough a lot to start, but it'll calm you down."

After a few minutes, I start to understand what he's saying. You get used to the smoke, the smell, and most of all the taste. They're all awful by the way. "Ugh...You're right, this is the absolutely terrible, but it works...kinda."

We start walking toward the exit, completely silent. I suppose Armstrong thought I was a talkative person, because he asks me if anything is wrong while we're walking. "Oh, it's nothing. I was just years ago I couldn't see myself acting like this, even though I'm doing exactly what I thought I would do. I'm saving people...but damn it I didn't think it would be like this."

Heh, it's true. Assassination as a form of saving? Killing one to save another? I can't stand that that's reality, but I work with what I'm given. I'll come as close to my goal as I can. That's all I can do. "You're saving people? You're an amusing person Emiya. You're taking up assassination jobs to save people? How does that work out?"

This is the first of many Shirou, the first of many. "Aren't you supposed to say 'amazing'? Anyway, think of it like this; this guy is doing dangerous experiments out in the open, right? And he's using our employers research, which he doesn't like. So, by doing things out in the open, he gets the attention of the Association. By getting the attention of the association, he brings their police force. They start a firefight, everyone suffers. However, if I take him out before anyone realizes what he's doing, everything's fine, nobody suffers."

I can't really describe the type of face Armstrong has right now. It's sort of a mix of pity, amusement, **be**musement, and a few other things. His voice, however, is very easy to read. "Except for him." I don't have anything to come back with, so all I can say is 'lets go'.

**(****Later that day)**

"I don't like our employer." It hasn't even been a full ten minutes since we left his house, we didn't talk about anything other than the mission, but already I can tell I didn't like him. Everything about him screams 'wrong' to me.

"Gestahl? He seemed a little off, but not terrible." Armstrong acts nonchalant about it, as it seems he does everything. In fact, the way he says it, it doesn't even involve him. It's someone else's problem entirely.

"He's gonna do something drastic soon..." If there's one thing our brief conversation told me, it was that Yuri Gestahl was at the end of his rope. "Do me a favor Armstrong, when you can, get some info on his research. Gets some basic info on him too."

"Why? You think he's doing something that'll 'Endanger the people'? Geeze Emiya, you're always looking to play hero, aren't you?" I wonder if I'll ever find out why Armstrong cares so little. I mean, he can at least feign interest in his client, right? "Whatever, I'll take a peek and let you know what I find. This guy's just an alchemist though, so you shouldn't expect too much. Then again,"

"We don't really have time to talk like this. I'm gonna head out and survey the area. You know how to contact me?" I really don't have time for it, and I don't care too much right now. I just need that info, and in the meantime I need to do my job.

"Sure, I've got familiars all around this town." Familiars...I should be used to them by now, but I still can't really get my mind around it. I mean, I even HAD a familiar for a few days, and I don't get why magi love them so much.

"Why not just use a phone?" Armstrong makes a face that suggests I may have hit his mother or something extreme like that.

"Because I have dignity."

"I will never understand you magi sometimes. It's simpler to use, and no one you care about is using it. Not to mention it's less expensive." A lesson I sorely need to learn; never try to reason with a magus. Nothing good comes from it.

"Sometimes Emiya, I really hate the fact that you're so different. It doesn't matter, I'm not using those...things. I'll just use a familiar, like a normal person would."

All I can do is mutter that nobody normal would use a familiar under my breath, before we both move on. There's work to be done.

**(The next day)**

In front of me is a rather conspicuous place. It's a three story mansion, in between two normal one story houses. Even more conspicuous is that nobody seems at all perturbed by this. Conclusion: They don't see it. He must be hiding it. Joy.

Searching through my rather cluttered bag, I pull out a tape recorder. I don't know what possessed me to do this, but I suppose recording my thoughts is a decent way to learn from them...maybe. It doesn't change the fact that I look like an idiot while I do it. But at least nobody else can see me in this forest.

"I've made a camp near his house. I'll spend the next two days observing him. If I can find a weakness, I'll exploit it. If not, I'll begin preparation on Thursday. I've set up a simple boundary field. It's very basic stuff, basically to alert me when someone enters the vicinity. Because it's so simple, he won't suspect what I'm using it for. I've got supplies for five days. If the info I've gotten up to now is accurate, I won't be needing it all."

Times like this make me really appreciate what Kirei taught me. In all honesty, I should never have known how to make a boundary field, let alone one this effective. Then again, he took way too much joy in knowing that it hurt like hell to learn how to do this. Stupid sadistic priest.

As I'm spying on the mansion in front of me, a small brown cat walks up to me...and begins talking. Needless to say, I'm more than a bit shocked. Cat's don't normally talk, you see. "Emiya, can you hear me?"

After slowing my heartbeat down to a normal level, I can calmly asses that this must be one of Armstrong's familiars, as that is his voice. "Yeah, what's up Armstrong?"

"Got some info on Gestahl." It's so weird to see a cat talk, I can't describe it. Especially because it's lips move perfectly with the words coming out of it's mouth. "He's part of the medicinal branch of alchemy. You know, removing curses, healing mortal wounds, that sort of thing."

Translation, "So he's a doctor?" An audible sigh comes from the cat. Note to self, never work with someone who refuses to use a cell phone again.

"Not quite. He specifically is researching what the effects of fire based curses are on humans. Meaning he needs live samples. There've been a few counts of kidnaping in the area, ranging from the young to the old. Most people just throw it aside as unrelated, but there's a distinct type of...lets say magical residue in all of the crime scenes. Both Gestahl and his former partner have taken these people for the experiments. I believe they're doing the same research, but Schwartz is using Gestahl's as well as his own. Schwartz seems to be more on curing the affects though."

Then it's simple. They're killing people for their experiments. I can't allow that. I'm already going to kill Schwartz for the greater good, another one down won't be too bad..."Doesn't matter. Both of them are using these people for experiments. I'm not going to let that continue." Right, I chose this path a long time ago. This is who I am. A hero.

**(Three Days Later)**

It's been three days since I set up camp here. My rations are running low, I need to learn to conserve better. I've seen Schwartz leave his house a few times, but there were always people around him. Until now.

I've got a wide open shot. The sun is down, so everyone's inside. Except for him. It's so simple, he can't do anything to stop me. "Trace on." Just like he did. Concept, body, memories, all fly off at a rapid pace to form the sword turned arrow in my right hand. In my left is the bow that I made two days ago.

As quick as I can, I hook the 'arrow' into the string, pull back, and fire. A shot that will never miss. A shot that will hound it's target forever. I have unleashed Hrunting, and it has found it's target. Mission complete.

**(The Next Day)**

"We have come here to receive payment for our work. After three days of stake out, the opportunity arose and we made our move. Your partner, Elron Schwartz, is no longer alive. All of his research is intact, and no one was around to see the operation. All in all, a great success."

Armstrong is listing off something that might as well be gibberish next to me as I prepare for the inevitable. I can see them in my mind. 1, 2, 4. Just use four for now. Concept, body, memories. The same order, the repetitious magic is all I have, and I intend to use it.

"He thanked us for a job well done, and he won't hesitate to use us again if the opportunity arrises." Armstrong turns to me after his first sentence. "He says the money is already in our bank account. I think you can do what you wanted too now."

He doesn't care. I can tell it, but still, "Thanks Armstrong. I'm sad our first mission together turned out like this." He smirks as I apologize for our mission ending like this.

"Don't be. It was a success, everything from here on out is all you. If you're ever in Europe again, don't hesitate to contact me. Unless it's personal. I'm too busy for that." I almost laugh, but laughing would break my concentration. I force out a 'gotcha' and look at Gestahl.

His face is jolly and his yellow teeth are showing. For the last time in his life, he smiles. At the man who is about to kill him, he smiles. "Trace on." With those two words, his eyes lose their shine, his face turns pale, and his teeth form into something filled with fear. The four swords pierce him as though he was straw. The target is deceased. Mission complete.


	3. Chapter 2: A Day in the Life

If there's one thing I've learned from this experience, it's that I hate long flights. They mess with your head so bad, you can barely see straight sometimes. If there's two things I've learned, it's that I hate long flights, and I hate cabs. Slow to respond, bad service, overpriced, and cab drivers are just awful. They could not be more surly. I just....I just hate them so much.

After dropping everything off at my house, noting that Fuji-nee hasn't done anything I've asked her, big surprise, I head off towards my home away from home. Kotomine Church. It takes a little bit of walking, but it's been a while since I walked this path. I mean, I just now moved back after spending a year living with Kirei, so a lot has changed...or so I thought.

Everything still looks the same to me. The houses, the people, the bridge, all of it. It's nostalgic, sure, but also annoying. Change is usually a good thing, if not interesting. Even the church itself hasn't changed, but I knew that already. The moment I walk in, I can already see everything.

Kirei standing at the altar, just in case someone actually shows up, even though we both know they never will. Kariya lying down in a pew reading passages from the bible, thinking of what she's going to do next. I'm sure it will annoy whoever she decides to do it with, but it will have to wait since I'm here.

"Oh, it's you. Welcome back Emiya Shirou. I take it your mission was a success." I guess he must have been expecting someone, but the cold greeting doesn't surprise me. I mean, it is Kirei after all.

"Yeah." I hesitate for a second. I suppose I should tell Kirei...but I don't feel like elaborating. Being blunt works well enough in this situation. "They're both dead."

His left eyebrow raises as he remarks "Oh?" He almost sounds condescending or disappointed in me, but I know the truth. "You killed them both?" He actually likes it. But, I can't hold it against him. He's just weird.

"Uh huh, my employer was too big of a threat to the safety of the area. I would have to go back pretty soon if I left him alone." Well, I at least wanted to be blunt. I didn't think I'd need to explain myself, but here I go again trying to justify it.

"I shall take your word for it." He talks like it's none of his...well, I guess it isn't his business. It's mine. "I would better celebrate your success, but I have a guest to entertain today." I knew it. But that doesn't mean I can't pretend to be surprised.

"A guest?" I do my best to ham it up, and it sounds utterly ridiculous. Just as planned. "Who is it? Did you end up destroying the fabric of reality and get an actual friend while I was away?" I could be on Star Trek I'm so good at this.

I must have touched a nerve or something, because Kirei looks pretty annoyed. At least it wiped that smug look off his face. I swear, half the time it seems like he's wearing a mask. There's no way someone can look that smug that often. "No, she is not a friend of mine. She is a superior, part of the Churchs' militaristic branch; the Executioners."

The Church has a military based branch? You learn something new every day. "Executioners huh? Uh...what do they do? I mean, it's the Church. How many enemies do they have?" Other than the Association of course...but I don't remember hearing about open violence warranting a military.

"They do exactly as their name states; they execute things." Puns...I hate puns. Wait, is that a pun? I don't know, but I still hate it. It reminds me of a pun. "Specifically, heresies that the Church says does not exist. This particular one mainly hunts vampires."

Wait a second....Something doesn't seem right...Did he just say..."Uh, Vampires? They, they actually exist?" Smug face, once again. Stupid priest.

"Yes Emiya Shirou, vampires do indeed exist. You know, you really should learn more about the world around you if you plan to continue this. How would you react if your next target was a vampire?"

He's got a point, now that I think of it. What would I do? Can vampires even be killed by normal methods? Are there any weird vampire tricks I should learn about? How do you even tell if you don't see them sucking blood? "I don't know. How about this; people learn best by doing right? So why don't I kill a vampire or two and find out what to do?"

A slight chuckle from Kirei. Pretty rare, I must have done something weird. "This is unlike you, shouldn't you research vampires and find out if they are causing any form of devastation?"

Well that's a stupid question. "They're vampires. What else are they going to do?" Seriously, that's all vampires can do. What, are they going to run around on dates or something, or apologize as they only steal the tiniest bit of life from a person? That's just stupid. "Anyway, give me the name of the person you're, ahem, 'entertaining'. I'll talk it over with her."

Kirei switches back to his serious face before saying "Fine, I know well enough by now that I can not stop you. Though truthfully, I do not wish to. Her name is Ciel. Ah, yes, Kariya has been rather anxious to see you. You are supposed to see her as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I do not know where she is right now. You can wait here, or look for her. I do not care."

Kariya's been waiting to see me? Well, she'll have to wait a little longer. I plop down in a pew to signal that I'm staying here until Ciel shows up. After all, why should I go home for a little bit, risk running into someone, and then have to ditch them to meet Ciel?

**(Later that day)**

Kirei made me move to the back. He said something like he's going to make sure Kariya and I never sleep in his pews again. He's uptight. I was napping on his couch, when I heard the large front doors open. A few moments later, I heard a snippet of conversation. "...So Ciel, may I ask why you have come to Fuyuki?"

Ciel? Oh yeah, that's that person I'm supposed to be meeting. I drag myself out of the rather comfortable couch, promising to come back and finish my nap later, and head towards the front. "You may, though I really don't have a reason. I'm just checking up on the few churches around here while I'm in Japan."

Wow, she's got an accent. I guess she's not from around here. I can't quite place the accent, and it's not too noticeable, but it's still there. "Oh, and may I ask why you are in our humble little country in the first place?"

Well, that confirms it. She's not Japanese. I wonder what she looks like. She's got a nice voice at the least, so here's hoping she looks the part...whatever that part is. "Work. The Serpent slipped through my hands recently, though he has since been taken care of."

The Serpent? What's that? I've quickly reached the small door leading from the back area to the main hall. Now I just need to wait until there's a good time to enter. Don't want to interrupt the conversation. "By you, correct?"

Someone, I'm guessing Ciel, clucks their tongue. "No, unfortunately he was not." She sounds mad. I wonder if that's because of Kirei, or because of whatever it is they're talking about. Thinking about it, it's probably both.

"What a shame."

"Indeed." Well...I guess this is as good a time as any. I open the door and am greeted by an odd sight. A woman...I think, with what looks like blue hair, and blue robes that look similar, but at the same time fairly different than those of the priest whom I've become so accustomed to.

Back up a second. When I said 'I think' what I meant was she seems to be even younger than me, but the way her and Kirei are talking, you'd think they were the same age. She looks over at me, and I notice that her eyes match her hair. She had to have dyed that, there's no way it's naturally blue. Then again, 'hers' was purple so...

"Ah, I almost forgot." He didn't forget, or even almost forget, he's just lazy. "This is an acquaintance of mine, Emiya Shirou." I suppose he's not going to introduce her...kinda rude, but oh well.

"Nice to meet you." I extend my hand to shake hers and wait. She looks me over slowly, with a discerning eye...like I'm some sort of meat on display.

"You as well." She finally responds and shakes my hand. Her skin is smooth, and her handshake is firm...I need to stop thinking like that. Well, I suppose now is as good a time as any to explain my intentions.

"I'll jump straight to the point Ciel-san, I've heard from Kotomine that you are a vampire hunter. Is this correct?" She wears a startled expression for a minute before angrily replying.

"I do not believe," but she's cut off by Kirei.

"Calm down Ciel, he is trustworthy. More so than I, truthfully speaking." Is that what this is about? She thinks I'm not trustworthy?

She glares for a moment before continuing. "Yes, I am a vampire hunter." I can't tell if she was glaring at me or Kirei, and I kinda wish I knew.

"Take me with you on your next mission." Disregarding my thoughts, I let my true intentions out. She does a quick double take, like I'm insane or something.

"And why should I do that?"

"Because in my line of work knowledge is key. If I should ever run into a vampire without knowledge of how to defeat it, I will die and my mission will have failed." And of course, that would be bad.

"And what is it that you do, Emiya-san?" She has a really dynamic voice. She can be snarky, condescending, and angry all at once.

"I am an assassin." It takes me a moment to get it out. I guess I'm still kind of ashamed that I have to call it that.

"I do not believe a mere assassin," She sounds exasperated. Like I'm some random bum off the street who has no idea of anything that's going on.

"I am not a 'mere assassin' Ciel-san. Though it may not seem like it to everyone, I am a Hero of Justice." And now she looks like she's about to bust out laughing. Joy.

"A hero of justice? Not only does that sound ridiculous coming from a full grown adult, but I've never even dreamed of an assassin being a Hero of Justice. It almost seems like a contradiction from my point of view."

Classic argument, sure, but easy to counter. "Then it's obvious you've never thought about it logically. You can't save everyone, this is a simple fact. However, by removing the one person who is a problem, you can save one hundred people. By removing ten problematic people, you can save over ten thousand."

She tries to say something, but I have to continue my spiel. "But people hate real heroes. They always want to see the make believe third option. Where somehow everyone ends up fine. But, like I said, those don't exist and people will turn on you. That's where I come in. I can do this for everyone, because I can take their hatred. I know what I'm doing is right. So, I need to know how to deal with vampires, and you seem like a good person to learn from."

Thinking about it, I sounded kind of depressed just now. Hmm...Oh well. That's how life is. I'm a person that's supposed to be hated, so that everyone else can be loved a little more. Or something like that.

"It's not that simple Emiya-san." She sounds a lot more sympathetic now. I guess I hit a soft spot, or maybe she's just warming up to me. "Vampires are not normal beings, they can not be killed by normal means."

That's not a problem. "Ciel-san, do you know of the Holy Grail War that was held here two years ago? To sum it up, seven Magi summoned seven spiritual beings called Servants. I ended up winning that war using my skills alone. My Servant had died long before the end. I killed a servant using my own weapons. That means they can kill beings that technically don't exist. I believe I can handle a vampire, at least on that level."

She looks over at Kirei to and asks him if I'm telling the truth. I just noticed, but his eyes are closed. Have they been like that the entire time? "Why yes it is Ciel. This boy did just as he says." I give Kirei a quick glare. He knows I hate it when he calls me boy.

After a brief pause, Ciel gives me her answer. "Fine. I can see you are determined about all this. When I get word from the church about any rogue Dead Apostles, I will let you know."

A sigh of relief escapes my lips. "Thank you Ciel-san. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this. Now, uh, if you will excuse me, I have other matters to attend to." Kirei chuckles as he knows I'm going to see Kariya before she finds out I've been here for a while. She's not a fun person to be around when angry.

**(At Shirou's house)**

"So you killed them both?" Kariya sounds rather bored as she says that. She's laying on the floor of my house, her head at an awkward angle as she flips through channels. The moment I called her to tell her I was home she showed up with bags filled with groceries. I made sure she knew there was no way I was making anything for her so soon after my return, and then she yelled at me saying they were for the church.

"See, when you say it you make me sound like the bad guy. I did what was necessary, that's all. If I didn't kill both of them even more people would have died." She rocks a little bit before propping herself into a sitting position.

"And what about their friends and families? Won't they come after you?" I can't tell if that's forced or genuine sincerity. Either way, it's not necessary.

"I've got it taken care of. Gestahl doesn't have family, and most of the Association, which would constitute as his friends, won't bother coming after me. Schwartz would be a problem, but he's been so cut off from his family recently, I doubt they'll think anything of it. And again, his only friends would be in the Association. Not to mention no one knows I was the one who killed them."

She gives me an awkward look before scolding me. "Geeze Emiya, how can you be so calm about all of this? I mean, you just killed two people and don't think anything of it."

Well, that's not entirely true. I mean, I do feel a little bad that it had to happen, but that's just it, it had to happen. "I just am. Don't think too much about it." More importantly though, "Hey, you got a lighter on you? I forgot to buy a new one after I got back."

She gives me a stern look before taking out one of her lighters. She's not a smoker, at least I don't think she is, but she's a bit of a pyromaniac. Though, she won't admit it. "Yeah. When did you start smoking?"

I take the blue lighter, hold it up to the cigarette now held in my mouth, and light it. The smoke is unbearable, but a few seconds later I've calmed down and the weariness of the past few days drifts away. "Armstrong got me hooked. Helps calm my nerves."

From the looks of her, she's making a mental note to punish Armstrong for this. Personally, I don't think she'll have the chance, but you never know with Kariya. "Whatever. I'm just saying, I want to know why you are...what you are. What happened to you to make you so cold? Wait, no, that's not right. It's not that you're cold, you just...I don't know how to describe it. It's like you stopped caring or something."

Stopped caring? Heh, maybe she's right. Maybe I did. But I'm in no mood to elaborate. I'm tired, and I need some sleep. "I'm in no mood to describe it to you. If you really want to know ask Kirei. He knows most of the details. Anyway, it's getting late, I'm going to bed. Lock up when you leave."

She grunts in response before getting up and grabbing her bags. I'd go to the door with her, but I don't think she wants to be around me right now. A minute later, while heading to my room, I hear a semi loud noise that would probably equate to the door being shut violently. It doesn't work very well on sliding doors, it appears.

I plop down in the familiar place that was once my permanent residence and begin to drift off. I'd say I'm refreshed by the scenery, but there really isn't any. My room now is as basic as it always has been, and probably always will be. My final thought before my well deserved rest is "What does that say about me?"

**(???)**

"Senpai..." It's very dark here. And quiet. I can't see, or hear, anything. I'm just kind of floating in the air. Oh wait, I was floating in the air. I think I'm standing on solid ground now. "Senpai..."

I think I can hear something now. It sounds kind of like an echo, but what of I don't know. "Senpai..." It sounds like it's getting closer, and the voice seems familiar, but I can't quite understand what's being said. "Senpai..."

And then it hits me. It's her voice. And she's standing right in front of me. "S-Sakura?! How are you...how did you...what is..." Then it hits me. It's a dream. It's the same dream I've been having for two years.

"I wanted to thank you senpai. If you hadn't killed me, I would have done awful things to people. But you made things better, you always do. So, please, don't feel sorry for me. You made the right decision."

She's right. I did make the right decision. I'm glad she understands...no, she doesn't understand. This is my dream, these are my thoughts, so I just think she understands. I hope she understands. But I can't say anything back to her. Even if it's just a dream, I don't have the right to say anything back to her. All I can do is watch as she fades away. All that's left is for the memory of Matou Sakura to fade from my mind, forever.

**(The next morning)**

Cachink, the doors slide open. I can only just hear them from the kitchen, but already I know what it entails. Especially since I can't hear anyone say "I'm here", and unless I'm being robbed, I only know one person who would stay quiet.

"Heya Fuji-nee." I don't even turn around to acknowledge her existence. I can hear an audible sigh, which I suppose means that she was trying to surprise me. But, moments later, she sounds cheery as usual.

"Shirou! It feels like I haven't seen you in so long." She gives me a tight hug from behind. It kinda reminds me of old times. She did this a lot when I was a kid, but stopped around the time Sakura started showing up at my house.

"It's only been a few months Fuji-nee." I can't help but chuckle as I get her to release her grip on me. I act like I hate it, but I kind of miss the familiarity. Despite the fact that it's only been a few months since we've seen each other, we've only really spent a small amount of time with each other since I graduated.

Heck, even before then I spent most of my time at Kotomine Church or at work. The only times I'd really see her were at breakfast, and even then we didn't talk much. It really is nice to be back 'home'.

"Yeah, but it still feels like it's been a long time. So," She jumps off me and sits down like a normal person, "how has everything been going?"

"Good, really good actually. I just got back from Romania with a friend of mine." Well, I'm not sure if I would call Armstrong a friend, but he's alright. And I can't quite say I went to assassinate someone, she'd kill me.

"Romania? What's in Romania?"

"It was a business thing. Me and Gary had a few things to attend to there." Did I just call Armstrong Gary? What is wrong with me? "We were only there for around a week or so, but it's a nice country." Very mountainous, it would be a nice place to retire to.

"Uh...huh. Whatever. Anyway Shirou, you should start dinner soon." And now we come to the heart of the matter. She didn't really care, she just wanted to open up a dialog for food.

"We haven't seen each other in months and the first thing you do is ask me to make dinner. Do you see anything wrong with this picture?"

She faux ponders for a second before slowly saying "Yeah, you're still not making dinner," like I should have had a feast prepared for her before she even showed up.

I glare at her for a moment before caving. It's not like I expected anything else. "Fine. So how's teaching going?"

"Much better since you left. Nobody calls me Tiger anymore. And Ayako's little brother is doing great on the archery team..." She stops so suddenly I have to make sure she's alright.

"It's not like you to get quiet so suddenly. What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking about Sakura-chan." She sounds so sad. Fuji-nee took it the worst when Sakura died. They might as well have been mother and daughter. Thankfully she never found out the truth, but it still hurt a lot to see Fuji-nee so depressed.

"It's been over two years now, right?...I had a dream about Sakura recently. She just kept thanking me...like I did anything for her." I didn't really mean to add that last part there, it brings down the mood even more.

"Don't get like that Shirou, you know how she felt about you. You made her happy just by being there for her." That may be true, but it still doesn't make up for the fact that I killed her. Tohsaka too, I killed them both...

"Anyway, so do you have a girlfriend yet Shirou?" The question catches me by surprise. When I ask her to repeat herself, she slows herself down to a near halt. It's quite annoying.

"No, not really." Mistake. Big mistake. I should not have said not really, I should have just said no and left it at that. But now she's going to pry.

"What do you mean not really?" Just like that. "Are you hiding something from me? No, you wouldn't be....GAH! Shirou you're so mean! You can't do that to a girl!" She made a big jump, didn't she?

"Woah, woah, Fuji-nee, I think you've got this all wrong. First off, it was just a slip of the tongue. Second, I'm sure Kariya would probably get mad if I said she was my girlfriend. She's the closest to it, but that's still a pretty big stretch." That's actually an almost scary thought, now that I have it.

"Oooh, Kariya huh? Is that her first name? How long have you known her? What's she like? Is she pretty?" Rapid fire questions are fired at me, and I choose to ignore almost all of them. Fuji-nee does not notice.

"Uh...well...geeze, this is so weird. Um, I guess...I guess she doesn't look bad. I've never really thought of her like that though. She's kinda rough around the edges, and a little invasive, but she's a good girl at heart." With the right amount of stalling, it's easy to make her forget the little details.

She ponders over me answer for a minute before continuing her onslaught of personal questions. "Girl...so, does she give you a 'little sister' vibe or something?" Does she think I'm a lolicon now?

"Huh? No, not really, she just acts really immature at times. She'll probably stop by tomorrow if you want to see her that badly." Why did I say that? What in the world possessed me to tell her that?

"Why not today?"

"I figured I would have a guest, IE you, today and I let her know."

"Ahhh! After all this time you still don't know how to deal with girls Shirou!" I don't think she knows the balance of power at this moment in time.

"You know I don't have to make this food for you. I have leftovers, and I'm more than happy with that." She flaps her arms and yells at me for being a meanie before quieting down. We ended up having a surprisingly pleasant evening. Though I did have to dodge more questions about Kariya than originally planned.

All in all, it's good to be home. I missed fighting with Fuji-nee, I missed my drab uninspired room, and most of all I missed my shed. Yeah, it seems like nothing has changed around here. That is, nothing but me.


	4. Chapter 3: Of Events Yet To Come

A day or two ago I received a message from Kirei. It was very simple, "Pack your things Emiya Shirou, Ciel will be here soon." Earlier today I heard a knock on my door.

"Do you have your things packed Emiya-san?" I told her I had and we were on our way. She handed me a small ticket and led me to a powder blue car sitting just outside my house. How did I not see that?

It's been around half an hour since then, and we're stuck in traffic. We haven't said a word to each other, and to be quite honest it's a little uncomfortable. I mean, what do I say to someone like Ciel-san?

"So Emiya-san, tell me about yourself." Her words pull me from my thoughts. "I like to know at least a few things about my partners. For example, why is a magus eagerly working with The Church?"

It takes me a minute to register everything she's said. I just blink a few times before I can come up with my answer. "Well, you work with whoever you can to reach your goal, right? I don't really get the conflict between the Association and The Church, and to be honest I don't really care. I'm not a part of either, and as far as I know the Association doesn't even know who I am yet."

As we come to yet another stop, she looks me over with a...I suppose you could say doubtful look on her face. "What do you mean by yet?"

Is that it? That's a simple question Ciel-san. "I'm an assassin Ciel-san, I've already killed two of their members. If they don't know about me yet, they will soon. I can't hide things like that easily." Not like I really planned to anyway.

She nods in agreement before lightly pushing on the gas. Why is traffic so bad today? I'm not saying taking the train would be any better, but this is unbearable. "Um, can I ask you a question Ciel-san?"

"If you want to." She sounds so uncaring that I can't help but hesitate. I can't handle her type too easily. I swallow my fear, and just spit out the question that's been bothering me since the day I met her.

"How old are you?" She turns to me bug eyed as can be. "I mean, you look younger than me, but it seems like you're a well known and respected person in The Church, which doesn't just happen overnight."

I can almost see the fire light up in here eyes. "Are you an idiot Emiya-san?" It's obvious to me she's barely containing her anger. I suppose that was a bad question to ask. "You don't ask a woman her age. Ever. Especially a woman like me. I can kill you in ways you can not even imagine."

And now I'm the bug eyed one. That's a very scary thing to say to someone. "My apologies Ciel-san...forget I said anything." I stumble and fall all over my words. It's kind of pathetic, but I can't stop myself from muttering "Geeze, Fuji-nee was right. I really don't know how to deal with women."

I make sure for the rest of the ride I don't say anything stupid like that. Or, I at least try to. It's not long before the uncomfortable silence resumes, and I can't help but say something. "So...Ciel-san, where are we headed?"

"First we board a plain headed for Bourges, then we take the car I've had prepared up to Gargilesse." Great, more cars. Maybe at...wherever it is we're going, the roads won't be so bad. But that begs the question...

"Not to sound rude or anything, but where is Bour...Bar..."

"Bourges, Emiya-san. It's in France, my home country. That's also obviously where Gargilesse is. I actually grew up in Gargilesse." I nod and go 'ah' before asking if that's where the vampire is. "No Emiya-san, I just wanted to show you my house."

Wait, what? That's the point of this trip? What a waste of...wait a second. "It is believed there is one near Gargilesse. It seems to be nothing more than an average Dead Apostle, though we should still take caution while there." Oh, OK. That's what I thought.

"So, uh, how do they know it's a vampire?" I sound like such an idiot, but I really don't understand how they'd be able to tell.

"There are certain signs. This particular one isn't the most secretive either. It's been leaving behind victims for starters. But even then, if more than ten people go missing in 'mysterious ways' we generally will send someone to look. Because I was planning on returning home I offered to take care of it. Not to mention I need to take out some frustration."

Frustration? What would frustrate someone like Ciel-san? Besides, you know, asking her her age. "So, what happened? Did a job go bad or something?"

"You could say that. I've been a member of the Executioners for...some time now," Do not ask Shirou, do not ask how long! "And I've had very few missions. All but one of them I have succeeded in. More than just success though, I did them better than I had any right to. But the one thing that has kept me going...I was denied."

Well that sucks, to put it lightly. I wish I could help her. "Do you know what that's like Emiya-san? To be denied the one thing you wanted? Or even worse, to find something else you want and be denied both?"

The one thing you wanted? 'You're going to be deceiving yourself forever with that crying face of yours.' No...I'm not. I'm not crying. I did what I had to. This is what I wanted. Nothing else. 'You're going to cast away the person you love most for people you don't even know about.' I'm going to save people, that's all I want. That's all I ever wanted.

"Emiya-san? Are you alright? You're looking pale." The car comes to a stop again. It's small. This car is small. I need more space. I can't take it anymore. The blood is rapidly leaving my face, and indeed my skin is becoming cold and clammy.

After waiting for a few seconds I respond. "How much longer 'till we're at the airport?" My legs are shaking. No, just my right leg. Stop shaking. Why won't this traffic move forward?!

"Depending on the traffic, anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour. Are you sure you're OK Emiya-san?" She sounds really concerned, but none of it reaches my ears.

"We could walk faster than this...Just park this hunk of junk somewhere nearby and lets walk. I can' stand it in here anymore." It's too small. Much too small. They won't stop looking at you when you're in such a cramped space.

"Emiya-san, I don't know if you've ever rented a car before, but you can't just," I cut her off immediately. I can't take it anymore.

"Then just pull over for a second and let me out. I know the way. Just let me out, and I'll meet you at the airport!" My words are becoming more and more frantic. I need fresh air. Yes, fresh air will help.

"Fine. There was no need to yell though." She unlocks the door and I bolt out, taking my luggage with me. I really am sorry, but I couldn't stand it anymore. They never blink, they just keep staring and judging. I run off before things get any worse.

---

Everything comes rushing up as I lean against the brick wall. The remains of my breakfast sting as they leave my mouth. The taste is disgusting, but it brings me back to reality. She's not watching me. She's dead. I killed her, she can't do anything more.

"You are ignoring what Emiya Kiritsugu's life was like." No...anybody but him. Shut up. Shut up. You aren't here. You have no reason to be here. You aren't real. You can't be real.

"You never noticed how terrible everything was for him." I never noticed because it wasn't there. He stood by his decision, just like I do. We both made the right choice, you're the only one who lead a terrible life.

"You would not be able to handle that path. You aren't strong enough." Lies, all lies. You don't know anything Archer. I'm not like you. I'm stronger. Much stronger, and I proved that to you.

"Day after day, the ugliness of the world was shoved in my face. I wasn't allowed to turn away, so I blinded myself. But I couldn't keep my illusions after my death." Exactly, I don't have to do that. I can take it all. If you would just...

"This world is ugly. It hates us for what we do. It betrays us, tortures us, and laughs while doing it. The once beautiful dream I had became so tainted that the word nightmare does not even begin to describe it. I want it all to go away, but I don't have such a luxury. You are my out though. If I can stop you, I just might be able to break this cycle. No, I know well enough that this will not free me. But at the very least it will make me feel a little better, knowing that one of my incarnations doesn't end up like me."

If you would just shut the hell up! The vivid image of red and black in front of me is sickening. He needs to go away. Why won't he go away? I'll have to make him go away. I throw a punch at him, it connects head one. But why?

Why is there pain shooting through my hand? Why can I feel the skin coming off? Why am I bleeding? "I can handle it. I don't need to turn away from everything. I'm strong enough. I can take everything they throw at me...I have to..." Because what would I be if I couldn't?

---

By the time I reach the airport the blood stops flowing from my hand. Or at least, I can't feel it anymore. I'm almost limping through the crowd, and everything I do feels sluggish. My bag is heavy, and all I brought were clothes.

Sifting through these crowds with my current mind set is a problem. None of them look like people to start. They're just objects, mannequins that go from place to place. It takes me a little while before I see anyone that looks like a person.

"I wasn't actually sure if you were going to show up." She looks like she just got in the line. "Not to mention looking like that, you should probably be in a hospital." Oh, I guess I look as bad as I've been feeling.

"Don't worry about it Ciel-san, I'm fine. I could use a little rest, but that's about it." My faux cheerful voice seems to fall on deaf ears. Thankfully, she doesn't really look too concerned about my well being. Wait, I'm thankful for that?

"You could also use a bandage, your hand is bleeding." Is it really? A quick check does indeed confirm that my left hand is still bleeding.

"Huh, so it is. I thought it stopped earlier, but I guess it opened up again." She frowns at me, like I've done something wrong.

A soft sigh escapes her lips as he move closer towards the plane. "Why is your hand bleeding Emiya-san?"

Oh, that? That's simple Ciel-san. "Because it has a cut on it."

"Well then, why does it have a cut on it?" Her voice is flaring up more and more. She shouldn't get so angry in public. Besides, it's not like I'm doing anything to make her mad. I'm just telling her what's been happening.

"Generally speaking that's what happens when bricks scrape across skin." I can almost hear her grinding her teeth. It's kind of funny.

"And why exactly were you scraping your skin on bricks Emiya-san?" It gets funnier when she talks like that. She's purposely accents every syllable. I can't help it that a grin crosses my lips. Even better is my response.

"Why not?" This seems to have taken her out of the mood. She just stops in her tracks and the man behind her runs into her. He should pay more attention to his surroundings. After apologizing Ciel quickly catches up to me.

"What is wrong with you Emiya-san? You know, that whole attitude is gonna make things really difficult."

"I'm sorry Ciel-san, I can't help it. You're fun to tease. Anyway, we can talk about it more when we touch down. Our plane is getting ready to leave anyway."

"Why can't we talk about it on the way there?"

"Because I'll be trying to stop myself from being sick. Long flights don't mix well with me." It's actually kind of bad. After all, with this profession, and living in Japan, I'll probably be making lots of flights. That, or I'll never be home.

"Hmph, fine, just try not to get any blood on me. It's very hard to get out of clothes." Those words actually bring back some fond memories.

"Tell me about it. That's the reason I stopped wearing white shirts." We both laugh a little before boarding the plane. Yeah, this won't be so bad if I can keep laughing. It's not the cure to my problems, but it's a start.

---

We've finally touched down. As the plane comes to a halt, I take note of my current surroundings. Ciel-san is just waking up, she seems to be in a good mood. The man in the seat in front of me is stretching, he must be doing the same. Actually, everyone seems to be just waking up. Except me.

It's not long before we're slowly drudging our way through the crowded airport. No, it's not long before I'm slowly drudging my way through the airport, Ciel-san seems to almost have a skip in her step as she makes her way to the entrance.

"Emiya-san, the car is over here!" She has to shout so I can hear, as she's already at the entrance, and I am still what seems like miles away. Slowly I make my way to her, and thankfully she waits for me.

"What's wrong with you Emiya-san?" I have to finally speak. Using all the strength I have, I raise my head and form syllables.

"Don't like long flights....no sleep...need cigarette." My speech almost sounds slurred as I reach into my pocket to pull out sweet relief.

"Ah, Emiya-san? Could you please not do that? I'd like to get home as quick as possible, and you smoking in the car would be a distraction." I eyeball her for a second before releasing a loud audible groan and heading off into the parking lot. It's going to be a long day.

---

The car bumps occasionally as we speed down the highway on our way to Gargilesse. The roads seem pretty empty out here, but the scenery is very nice. Trees and hills and mountains everywhere. Not to mention the wind blowing in my face brings with it a sweet smell. It's calmed me down enough to where I can talk normally again. "So what's the plan?"

Ciel-san never takes her eyes off the road, but answers me like we were just walking down the street. "First, we're heading home."

"Your home?" She seems a little annoyed at my interruption, but that's about it. We move into another lane and pass by a blue Nissan before she answers me.

"Yes, I haven't been home for quite some time, but it should be in decent condition. There's a guest room for you as well. You should get some rest, when night falls we go patrolling." Sweet, free room. I can already feel the fatigue of the day on me, so sleep will be nice.

"Hey Ciel-san, how long do you think this whole thing is going to last?" I don't mind being around Ciel-san, but there are other things I could be doing right now. I don't know what exactly, but I'm sure I'd be able to find something.

"Well that all depends. I'd say it'll be around a month before you can leave. Although, if we're very lucky, it will only be two days." The way she sounds, we won't get that lucky. In fact, I don't think she even thinks it's possible.

"What do you mean by 'if we're lucky'? And why does it have to be two days? No offense Ciel-san, but I think we can get it done in one day. I don't really want to stay here that long."

"Listen Emiya-san," her voice carries the same harshness as when I asked her her age. This can't be good, "you volunteered for this. I didn't force you to come. It's going to take more than one day, so suck it up and deal with it. Or else!"

The finality of the 'Or else!' makes me double take before asking her what that means. "You don't want to know what that means. Suffice it to say, my line of work leaves me with rather vivid images of....punishment."

Scary. Ciel-san is scary. "Hehehe..." My laugh is totally devoid of any emotion, except fear. I nervously let out a whimpering "I think I'm just going to shut up now." Ciel-san 'compliments' my good idea, and we spend the rest of the ride in silence. Very awkward silence.

---

It hadn't even been five minutes since they arrived at her home when she saw her new partner, Emiya Shirou, passed out on her very dusty couch. She clucked her tongue before commenting on the situation. "I can't believe he's out already. He could have at least gone to his room."

Despite her harsh words, her voice contains an almost maternal amount of affection. She hadn't expected things to turn out like this. She was growing very fond of this boy who refused to accept reality as it was. He was very similar to another boy she had grown attached to. But this was different. He was like a little brother, or even a son, nothing more.

She looked around her house. This place filled with so many horrible memories...she had told herself she wasn't going to come back, yet here she was. And the house looked like a mess. "Seven!" She shouts for her familiar to appear before her.

"Yes Master?" The being that appears is a strange sight. It takes the form of what looks like a girl around Ciel's age, but with hoofed hands and feet. Just past her short blond hair lie emerald eyes, and a fair amount of jewelry. Three earrings on each ear, and a silver necklace around her neck. While addressing her master, she sounds almost scared.

"Do a quick dusting of the house. And make sure the two rooms upstairs are clean." Ciel's voice is harsh, so harsh that most people who knew her would deny that this was her. She didn't act like this very often. In fact, this aggression was focused solely on the spirit in front of her.

The spirit, Seven, tries to talk to her master, but is quickly interrupted. "Because that's where we'll be sleeping." Seven shrinks back in fear. She can't help but think that her master is invading her thoughts. "My room is on the right, his is on the left. They don't need to be spotless or anything like that, just make them look decent."

There's a question that is burning in her mind, but her body won't let her say it. She'll get in trouble. But still, she has to ask. "And what will Master be doing while Seven is cleaning?" She trips over most of her words, but Ciel can easily tell what she was just asked.

"Making dinner, not that it's any of your business." The thorns in her words tear at Seven's heart. She still isn't used to the way her master treats her. Why can't she be nicer?

"C-Can," She doesn't think she should say it. But it's been so long. She has to ask. "Can Seven have dinner as well?"

Ciel turns towards the kitchen while waving her hand. "I'll make you some carrots or something." Seven's eyes light up as she hears the news that she'll be getting food.

She runs up to her master and vigorously hugs her. "Oh thank you Master, thank you thank you thank you!" What she doesn't realize is that while all of this is going on, she's been knocking things over and making dents in the walls.

"Knock it off!" Ciel throws her familiar off of her rather violently as she surveys the damage. Sometimes it isn't worth it, she can't help but think. "Just get to work." Seven sulks away after a 'Yes Master' and Ciel begins to prepare dinner. For the first time in a long time, she's making dinner for two. That means she has to be better than her best, and she can't have Seven breaking her concentration.

---

"Wake up Emiya-san." I'm being shaken...why am I being shaken? I try to piece together everything that's happened. First there was that thing at home...then dad found me...then Saber was there and...now I've lost it.

Great, now I'll never get it back either, will I? "Wake up Emiya-san. Dinner's ready." This room's a tad dark. Was my room ever this dark? And why am I so high in the air? My futon isn't this high up.

"Someone say something about....something?" That voice, that was Ciel-san earlier, right? So I'm not home. I'm...in France. That's right. We came to France to fight that vampire, so I'm at Ciel-san's house.

"Yes they did. I said something about something." Ciel-san sounds very sarcastic...and she looks very tall standing over me like that. I roll off the couch to try to stand up, and fall flat on my face. "Are you always like this when you wake up Emiya-san?" Ciel-san sounds exhausted, like I'm too much for her to handle.

"Mmm. No, I'm usually much better." As I regain my senses, a savory smell takes me by surprise. "Hmm, something smells good. What is it?" I rub my eyes as Ciel-san tells me that she made dinner. "Dinner is good. Lets eat."

I make my way to the table and view the meal before me. Or, what should be a meal. "Wow Ciel-san, this curry looks great. But, what else are we having?"

She gives me a blank look. "What do you mean 'What else are we having?' Emiya-san?"

"Uh, well, you know, you can't just eat curry. I mean you usually have..." Her awkward stare stops me from going any further.

"No, go on Emiya-san, why can't you just eat curry? Is there something wrong with curry?"

"Ah. N-No Ciel-san, there's absolutely nothing wrong with curry. Forget I said anything, lets eat!" I've said it before, I'll say it again, Ciel-san is scary.

"No! Why can't you just eat curry?!" She's truly angry now. Considering my circumstances, I should take the conversation in a new direction.

"Hmm? Did you say something Ciel-san? I was busy enjoying my curry and...curry. If you don't hurry up, I might take you"

"If you even think about taking my curry Emiya-san, I will kill you." Very scary. That interruption is very scary. She gets even worse when she's hungry. Or is it just when it comes to curry?

"R-r-r-really now? That's good to know then. L-lets eat!" The rest of dinner is quiet, mainly due to me refusing to talk. Ciel-san also gives me...lets say meaningful glares every once in a while. This is going to be a long stay.

---

Having finished dinner, it is now time to go out patrolling. For what, I do not know. But what I do know, is that it's time to change. You just can't go patrolling for possible vampires in your plain old clothes. It's unnatural.

I made this during my senior year with a little help from my friend. Issei was surprisingly good with the sewing, and really seemed to understand what I was going for. Granted, it's just a modified version of his clothes, but still, I like it.

"Is that really what you're wearing?" Ciel-san, it appears, does not share my enthusiasm. Then again, looking over her outfit, I don't think she has much room to talk.

"I could say the same for you. What is that?" Seriously, it's so bland and just uninteresting. Not to mention it doesn't seem comfortable.

"They're robes!" And now she's screaming at me. It's kind of playful, but still, screaming is annoying.

"But do you really need the knee high boots?" Honestly, knee high boots? Who does that?

"Why yes I do!" After that little outburst, Ciel-san quiets down a bit. "Besides, they look cool." And she ends it all in a whisper. "Tohno-kun said so..."

I suppose she thinks I can't hear that part. Not like it matters. "They don't! And who's Tohno-kun?"

Of course, she ignores my question and we continue our yelling contest. I'm probably going to win, being a guy and all. "They do too! And besides, what's with that getup?!"

Wait, that came out wrong. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?!" I'm not being sexist or anything, it's just that I'm bigger and I can project my voice more because I'm a guy.

"Does it need to be skin tight?!" That's what makes it useful for fighting Ciel-san. So it doesn't get caught in anything.

"Why yes it does! That way it doesn't get caught in anything, and more importantly, shows off how sexy I am!" I really didn't mean to say that part. But I can't help if it's true. I blame Kirei for giving me an ego. Really though, I've worked hard to be in this good of shape, why shouldn't I flaunt it a little?

"Are you serious? That's your reasoning?! That is," Ciel-san pauses for a minute and seems to calm down. "I'm not sure we should go patrolling tonight. Your words have stunned me stupid. I don't...I don't think I can handle much more of this. I might send you home early."

She sinks into a chair and acts like it's because of my words. Like my good body is the cause of all our problems. "Fine, if you don't like it that much, even though it makes me so sexy, I'll just wear normal clothes."

I threw in that line there just to mess with her. But it really doesn't bother me that much. Clothes are clothes. "No, no...who am I to judge. Keep it just...just don't tell anyone I know you."

I can't really tell if she's joking or sincere there, but I take it like an insult...I'm not sure why though. I blame jet lag. "You're ashamed to be seen me? You, are ashamed, to be seen, with me? Wow, what a strange place France is where **I** am the one who's ostracized."

"What kind of strange place is Japan where **THAT** is considered fashionable?" And right back to our shouting match. This is pretty ridiculous.

"You know what? Screw it. I'll just wear a T-Shirt. You take the fun out of everything Ciel-san." I storm off in a fairly fake looking way, but I think I can hear Ciel-san say something as I leave.

"At least I don't talk about how sexy I look when I so obviously am inferior to other people..." Other people? Wonder what she means by that.

---

After changing into a fresh set of clothes, or rather what I was wearing earlier in the day, we set out to do...whatever it is we do at night. "So, what, do we just walk around looking for a vampire?"

Ciel-san stifles a laugh before responding. "No. First we do a test, try and keep up." After that she speeds off at such an astounding speed I can barely believe it. It's truly superhuman.

"JESUS! God that is fast" I think I'm talking to myself. Oh well, I'll just say I'm thinking out loud. "But I wonder if I should do this...Yeah, I really should. That's what she gets for making fun of my outfit."

Heh heh heh. Trace on. Something I've been working on for two years. The ability to reinforce not just things, but rather myself. Speed that would be impossible otherwise. Strength that is unsurpassed. The drawback is the damage it does to my body, but in such a short burst, I might as well just consider this training. This is nothing compared to a real fight.

It's only seconds before I pass by Ciel-san, leaving her in the dust. "HI! BYE!" I have no idea if she heard me, but I said it nonetheless. Fearing negative repercussions, I slowly stop the flow of prana in my body, which slows me down to a normal speed. Now I've only got one problem. "Where in the world am I?"

"________" Whoa, what was that?! Quickly turning, I see a young woman. She looks like she's still in high school. "Uh, hi, I didn't know anyone was here. Um...It's kinda late out, shouldn't you get inside? I mean, bad things have been happening around here lately, right?"

She has short black hair and is wearing a T Shirt and jeans. She doesn't really seem to understand me...and thinking about it, that makes sense. I'm speaking Japanese. "____________________________"

Wow, not being able to understand what someone is saying is very ...what do I do now? Should I just walk away and find Ciel-san? Or..."What was that?!"

I don't get to complete my thought. Before I know what's going on, the girl lunges at me, and is promptly, uh, destroyed I suppose would be a good word. Half her body is missing now, and she's a few meters away from me now. "Was that...a Black Key?"

It had to have been. I've seen that type of weapon for two years, the first time as it pierced...well, it doesn't matter when I first saw it. "Emiya-san, are you alright? It didn't bite you, right?" And there's Ciel-san. She seems tired as she looks over me.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Did...did you just kill that girl Ciel-san?!" She looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Of course I killed her! She was trying to kill you! Emiya-san, she was one of the Dead! They eat the living to give energy to their master, which is the vampire we're looking for. Why did you go so far ahead?!"

"Uh...well, it's...wait, she was working for that vampire? And she was trying to eat me?! Wow, um...thank you Ciel-san. I owe you one."

"You're right, you do." She still has that harsh tone, but loses it after a sigh. "You can make it up to me by learning from this mistake. Don't go out alone until you can identify the Dead. Even then, try not to. We still haven't identified just which vampire this is."

"Yes, I will. And again, thank you Ciel-san." And with that we continue with our search. We don't end up finding anything, and apparently because Ciel had to kill that girl we won't until we find another one like her. I can't really think of anything to say, so the night drags on in an uncomfortable silence. But still, it's not all bad. At least I have company.

---

It's still dark out. Usually by now the sun has come up, but I suppose since I'm in France sunrise is at a different time. I've been up for a while now making breakfast for Ciel-san and myself. After last nights disappointment, I figured something like a good breakfast would cheer us both up. Not to mention I couldn't go another day with just eating curry.

I can hear a few thumps coming from the stairs. Ciel-san must be up. "Emiya-san? You're already awake?" She stifles a yawn as she makes her way to the fridge. "Did you even go to sleep?"

"Yeah, I got a few hours of sleep in. I made some breakfast, but you seriously need more ingredients around here. Pretty much everything was for curry." I grab a cup for myself and pour some water as Ciel makes some instant coffee. I didn't even think about that.

"You made curry? Great, nothing better to start your day with."

Well, despite what I said, I did end up making a curry dish. There's more to it, but it's still curry. "I would have made something else to go with it, but like I said you didn't have much. Not to mention when I tried to buy something, I just got a lot of weird stares." Yeah, that was a lot of fun. There were actually a few people out at five in the morning, something I didn't expect, but none of them would sell me anything. Lack of common language and all.

"That's because you don't speak French." She sips from her freshly made coffee and stops to savor the taste. She really seems at peace right now, none of the tenseness she usually carries is there. "Tell you what, I'll buy you a book or something so you can learn it. Though I don't know how many Japanese books on the French language there are..."

I can't help but laugh at that statement. It's not inherently funny, but I can't help myself. "How about this Ciel-san, I'll just walk around town and listen to conversations. I should be able to pick it up, right?"

"I don't think that would quite work without a translator. I'd offer to help, but I need to re learn French as well. It might take me a few days to get back in the groove of things, but you won't be able to keep up."

"Hmm, translator..." That gives me an idea. "Ciel-san, can I borrow your phone? I kind of forgot my cell phone, but I swear it will be a quick call." So long as he answers, I'm sure I can get him to help. I mean, what else would he be doing right now?

---

I can hear the ringer go on the other side. "Please be right, please be right, please be right." I've tried three times now to get the right number, and I'm really hoping that I got it right this time.

"Yes it is, may I ask who's speaking?" The clarity is awful at best. It keeps cutting in and out, and it's very static-y. Still, I can barely make out what he's saying.

"Oh good, I thought I got the wrong number again. Hey, it's Emiya. Listen, I'm in France right now, and I might be staying for a while. I was wondering if you could help me learn French. I'll pay you, of course. I don't expect you to do this for free."

"Sorry Emiya, I'm actually kind of busy. I've got another client, and I don't know how long it will take." I couldn't make out anything in that other than the first 'Sorry', which I think means no.

"Really? Oh well. Thanks anyway Armstrong. Well, take care of yourself. Don't go dieing before I need you again."

I hear a light chuckle on the other line, followed by a very muffled sounding "Goodbye." I think he said something before that too, but I couldn't make it out.

"Who was that?" The person who was there, his client, asks a somewhat intrusive question. But Armstrong does not care. They're both customers, in one sense of the word, and the odd kid he had been talking to was trying to take up time.

"A former client. He wanted my assistance." As per usual, Armstrong sounds like he doesn't care. Like nothing that happens involves him. But still...

"You said no?" This person, his new client, asks such simple questions. Armstrong should respond immediately, but he can't. He stutters over his words, something he has never done. That is because...

"Of course, I am busy with you right now." He takes out a map, his hands shaking. Only partially from the cold. "Now, we'll head north-west from here, and gather information around there. You just need to find where it is, right?"

"Yes. I might need help after that, but I'll make sure you get paid in full when we find it." Money. That's the only reason he even accepted this job. With Emiya he could have found some alternative reason, but with this one, there is nothing else.

"That's all that matters. C'mon, lets get going. I want to get this done as fast as possible." He tried to stop himself, but he couldn't. It just slipped out. "If someone ever tells you knowledge is power, tell them to stick it up their ass. Knowledge is what can even scare someone like me."

That was the truth of it, he was scared. For the first time in his life, he was truly scared. Scared of what he was about to do. Scared of what might happen. That's why his hands were shaking, that's why he couldn't speak right. He was simply afraid.

"Ah, that's surprising. I didn't think you'd be scared of anything Armstrong-san. In your line of work, I'd imagine that it's very detrimental." The kid was right. It was detrimental, but Armstrong couldn't help it.

"I'm not scared of just anything kid, I'm only scared of what you're looking for." And so they kept on their trek. Armstrong knew they would find it, but he could only pray that one, if not both, of them died before they had the chance.


	5. Chapter 4: Daeva

"You learn rather fast Emiya-san." He really has. It hasn't been that long, but he's really picked up on the language. Though the night patrols had been hard on her, he needed to study. "It may not be perfect, but it should be enough to survive."

She didn't actually know how well it was going, but could tell by the look in his eyes that he was absorbing quite a lot. "As long as people can tell you're a foreigner, you should be able to get by just fine. Though, truth be told that shouldn't be hard. You don't look French at all, and I'm sure your accent is atrocious."

She just realized, he hadn't responded at all. It was an entirely one sided conversation. Well lets just be sure here, she thought she would hate to be wrong in this situation. "The house is on fire." Nothing. "More extreme measures must be taken. "Emiya-san, I love you."

There might have been a grunt there. If anything, all that did was make her mad. After all, he wouldn't even respond to a 'declaration of love'. "Emiya-san, I'm pregnant. It's your child." Definitely a grunt there, but nothing more. "Emiya-san, if you don't pay attention I guarantee that the nightmares will never end."

"Did you say something Ciel-san?" It sounded really muffled, but I thought I heard her say something about the night patrol ending.

"Yes I did. It was something along the lines of 'I'm going to hurt you'." Ciel-san sounds really tired when she says that. It still doesn't stop it from being a very real, and very dangerous, threat.

"Please don't Ciel-san, I have to go patrolling tonight." I'm not sure how successful I was, but at the very least in my head I sounded calm and in control. Not the least bit terrified.

"True enough, true enough. That reminds me, I've got a present for you." A present? That's unexpected. I wonder what it is. "I made it in my spare time." Made? Like....curry? I don't need any more curry, not after living here for a week. "Try it on."

She tosses me something that feels strangely like clothes. Yep, clothes. I never knew Ciel-san could make something like this. It's really intricate, but simple at the same time. Like, the stitching or something is really complicated, but it's a simple one piece. Actually, it's a two piece. And it's..."It's green."

"It's not green! It's emerald!" Green, emerald, it's all the same. And she didn't need to get so defensive about it. "Besides, it compliments you. Just put it on."

"I'm not wearing this." Seriously, this just isn't me. I may not like 'him', but his taste in clothes was great. The red and black really works for me.

"At least try it on. I'm telling you, you'll look great." Something is apparently wrong with me, as Ciel-san yells at me again. "Not in here you idiot! Do it in your room!" Now that I think about it, my cheeks do feel a little warm. But honest to god, that isn't what I was thinking of.

"W-what are you talking about? Why did you think I was going to put it on in here? A-anyway, I'll try it on. Then I'll prove it doesn't work for me, and we can put this to rest."

And now I've reached an impasse. After slipping on the very comfortable and easy to wear green outfit Ciel-san made, I take a look in the mirror. I look fantastic. But after that scene I just made, I can't really say that to her. But I mean...come on! This looks really good! I'm definitely keeping this and wearing it for all my other missions.

"I knew it! I knew it would look good on you! But wow, it looks even better than I imagined. And the dimensions are just right. Turn around for me. Yeah, yeah, that's good. I think I might have to make a new outfit for myself seeing how well this one turned out."

The entire time Ciel-san is raving about this new outfit she made, I can't sit still. I mean, it's just embarrassing. It's bad enough that I'm living with her, however temporary, but now she's just looking me over like I'm some kind of model. Thankfully it doesn't last long, and we're all business from there.

"Alright, enough play time, we need to head out. I haven't really gotten any leads since the night you were attacked, so all we're going to do is look for the dead. In the interest of safety, you don't leave my side, and you follow my orders regardless of what you think. Can you do this?"

Without hesitation I nod, not even taking a moment to think of the consequences. "Glad to see you understand. Now, lets get going. You don't need anything, right? I mean for your magic."

"Huh? Oh, no. I've got everything I need right here," I say as I tap my head.

"Good, then we're all set. Let's go." Here's hoping we find something. I really need to get this done as fast as possible. But, at the same time, if we didn't find anything tonight, it wouldn't be so bad.

---

So as not to get caught Ciel-san and I leap from trees and light posts and things like that. It's kind of hard to keep my balance, but my martial arts training with Kirei helped a lot. Ciel-san, however, seems to have perfect balance. Like this is as easy as walking on the ground.

It's been around two hours now. After finding a decent hiding spot, we'll watch the streets for a few minutes before moving on. I find it kind of surprising that there are even less people out now than a week ago, mainly because I didn't think it was possible. But man are these streets empty.

"Um, Ciel-san? There's something I've been meaning to ask you." I take this moment to learn a few things. "How can you tell if someone is one of 'The Dead' or not?"

"Actually, there are a few ways. The most common is to just look at them. If you take a good look at them, they don't look human at all. Like they've lost their souls. Mainly because they have. Second, you could listen to them. Most of the dead speak in gibberish, like the ones who attacked you." I wish she would stop bringing that up. "Other than that, there aren't any techniques I can see you using. At least, none worth telling you. You'd have to figure those out by yourself."

"Oh, thanks. I don't know if I've said it, but I..." I'm cut off pretty quickly by Ciel-san. She points to a man wandering around listlessly, and I can only assume he's one of The Dead. She mouthes that we can't attack him, and moves to another nearby tree. I guess that means we follow him.

---

It's been around five minutes since we've started following this guy. Well, not guy, but close enough. Anyway, five minutes and he, or it, hasn't done anything but walk. I'm beginning to question whether or not he will, or if he's noticed us by now and is leading us into a trap. Then again, these things are pretty fast so at least we're moving a lot.

"Ciel-san," before I can actually say anything, Ciel-san stifles my mouth and gives me a stern look. I suppose that means no talking. I suppose I shouldn't expect her to understand that I know absolutely nothing, so I'll have to silence my complaints.

It's while she's glaring at me that we hear a shriek. The dead got away from us, and from the sounds of it found it's victim. As we catch up with it, "Trace on." A bow and 'his' modified Kaladbolg are in my hand. But...

When we get there the sight of what's happening stops me in my tracks. I had just assumed that The Dead are like vampires. They suck blood and move on. Their victims look drained and a little pale. Nothing like this.

I can't even tell if it's a man or a woman anymore. Most of the flesh on the face is torn up, and the chest has been torn open. There's blood everywhere and the simplest way to describe it is that this monster is eating the person that used to be there.

That's what they planned to do to me. They wanted to do that to me to power some sort of monster I've never even seen. They want to do this to this entire town. This whole country. That is... That is... "Unforgivable..."

My voice is barely a whisper, and it cracks the entire way through. A warm sensation is rising from my stomach, and I can only barely stifle the urge to vomit. I angrily lock Kaladbolg in the bow and get ready to fire.

"No!" Ciel-san takes my bow from me rather effortlessly. Her quiet warning and cold eyes are enough to tell me that I can't fire. "If you blow this Emiya-san, we'll never be able to find the vampire. I know it's hard, I know it hurts, but you have to let it happen now so that it never happens again."

She's right. She's so right I can't stand it. Even worse than that, I gave her my word that I would follow her orders. That even if I didn't like it, I would do what she told me. God damn it! I can't stand to look at this anymore. I turn my eyes away and wait for Ciel-san to let me know when it's over. This is...so wrong. But this is what I chose. Ciel-san shouldn't have needed to tell me. Sacrifice one to save one thousand. That's the path I chose...That's what I fucking chose.

---

It's been around twenty minutes since I stopped paying attention to anything. Oh, I've been following Ciel-san, sure, but I have no idea where we are. My mind is still on that person we let die back there. I thought I had gotten over this...I guess it was just how he or she died.

That's what I'm talking about though. That person was alive, I heard that shriek. But when we got there, the body was so messed up nobody would be able to tell. If I think about it, I'm sure it was a woman, if only from that shriek. But the fact that I needed to remember how she sounded before she died just makes me more depressed.

We come to a quick halt, though I'm not sure as to why. "Fairly impressive. The magic that must have been needed to hide something of this size is impressive, so I guess it's an above average apostle."

When I finally start to piece the puzzle that is current events together, I notice there's a rather large castle staring down at me. Where in the world did that come from? Oh yeah, she just said it was hidden by magic. "Alright, let's do this." My voice is unenthusiastic to say the least. Devoid of any emotion, I prepare myself. Yin and Yang, black and white, they're our swords. Kansho and Bakuya appear in my hands, and now I'm as ready as I'll ever be for this fight.

"No, not tonight Emiya-san." And just like that, my blood is flowing harder than ever. "If we rushed in right now without a battle plan we would be slaughtered. Besides, the events from earlier are still effecting you. If you want to argue with me, do it when we get home."

I never knew a glare could prompt such a response. Nor did I know such a simple response would drain me so much. I hate to admit it, but she's right. Again. I don't know what we're going up against, and in my current state I'd be sure to get us killed. Drudgingly and silently I begin the journey back to Ciel-san's house. For what is, I'm sure, going to be my roughest night in quite some time

---

Not only did they intrude on her territory, but they had the gall to taunt her and leave before paying their respects. Such an insult wouldn't be tolerated. "Gedai! Aisling!" She had known they were looking for her. When one of her followers died last week she could feel it. But the fact that they would taunt her is enough to send her over the edge.

"Yes master." The two she summoned were absolute nothingness given shape. Originally they may have had distinct bodies, thoughts of their own, maybe even dreams and aspirations. Not now. Now their only purpose was to serve their master.

Though that may have been the case for their peers, these two in fact were quite different. A vampire is under constant surveillance by the church. Thus, they can not leave their territory very often, and so familiars come in handy. A good vampire will have somewhere around ten. Their master, however, was different.

She commanded over thirty familiars for various purposes. These two are dream familiars, both fairly new to her ranks. As such, this would be a way for them to prove their worth. Many things can be obtained in a dream.

"The two intruders, follow them. Gedai, follow the boy. Aisling, the nun. Wait until they are asleep, then probe their minds. Both of you need to be careful, as I'm sure they are top members of the church. Report back when you are finished."

In unison, they replied "Yes master Kyrie," and went on their way. It would be several hours before Aisling would return, but Gedai showed up soon after he left. Though Kyrie had been in a bad mood, the report of his mission seemed to lift her spirits. Aisling's only added to the joy she was experiencing. Tomorrow would be a good day.

---

I've been waking up once every ten minutes all night. I fell asleep as soon as we got back at aroun_d_ 1:00, and have since experienced the w_o_rst night of my l_i_fe. I jus_t_ can't get it out of my mind. Even wor_s_e, new details are added every time. It's around five in t_h_e morning now and th_e_ events have become so _w_arped I'm beginning t_o_ question what actually happe_n_ed.

It s_t_arts out with a scr_e_am. We ignore it. It becomes pleas for help, still we ignore it. I'm still not quite sure what causes it, but after a few minutes we head off. When we get there, we see a woman struggling against it. She looks familiar, but I can't place who she is. She sees us and begs for help as that monster starts tearing her apart. It's slow, and very deliberate. But still, we don't do anything. In fact, I think I even smirk sometimes. Just the thought is enough to make me suicidal. The e_x_treme gore might have something to do with that too.

The blood in _p_articular has stood out to m_e_. That gets more gruesome every time. Originally it was just a small puddle where she was laying. Now her body is a fountain of it, the Dead atta_c_king her is covered in i_t_, and once or tw_i_ce i_t_ has even reached me. I don't think I'll be getting any decent sleep for quite some time if this keeps up.

---

"Hey Ciel-san." We haven't really done much today. We woke up, or rather I woke up, made breakfast, Ciel-san woke up, then we ate, and since haven't done much of anything. Well, we've talked a little, but after last night things are still a little awkward.

"Hm? Did you say something Emiya-san?" I can't really tell, but it seems like she was faking that. I'm not sure how to react actually. I mean, I guess it's nice that she is trying to make everything seem normal, but it's not. It won't be for a while between us, and I don't think I'll ever be the same.

"Yeah, well, um...Tonight's our last night on this mission, right?"

"Ideally."

"And I need to get back to work pretty quickly." She nods. "So...why don't we have a celebration now? Hear me out. We do this party, we're ready to kill this vampire, we come home, then I start getting ready to leave. That way I'm out of your hair as fast as possible and I can start working again."

"No. It's bad luck to celebrate before you do something like this. Besides, I don't want to be partied out before the confrontation."

"Then lets make it something simple. How about...how about I cook a really big dinner?"

"Too much food would slow us down. The answer is no Emiya-san."

"I know a great Phall recipe." At the sacred word her eyes light up like nothing I've ever seen before. While it's technically true that I know a recipe for Phall, I've never tried it before so I don't know how it will turn out. "Come on Ciel-san, it's the spiciest of all curry. And I'm not sure I'll have enough energy left after the fight, between packing and planning and all sorts of other things, to even attempt to make this recipe."

I can see her mind breaking everything down piece by piece. She outweighs the positives and the negatives, and seems to come to a conclusion. It all seems a little more nerve wracking than it needs to be, but as long as I get the desired result it's all good. "W-w-w-well, I, uh, that is to say, uh...W-we really shouldn't...but....Oh fine! Just make it already! You go get the ingredients and I'll set up the kitchen! Just hurry! We don't have much time!"

She caved. Just like I knew she would. While she's a little daunting...no, daunting isn't the right word. Lets go with intimidating, yeah that fits much better. While she's a little intimidating at first, once you get past the first layer or two Ciel-san is pretty easy to figure out.

---

The Phall finished and on the table, it's now time to eat. The plates are out, we've got drinks, everything is set. There's just one problem. The smell of all the spices are stinging my eyes, and I can already feel the curry in the pit of my stomach when it hasn't even made it to my plate. In other words, "I can't eat this."

"Why not?" Ciel-san has already started to load her plate up, and from the looks of it is taking half of the meal already. From the moment I started cooking, she looked like a kid on her birthday. That same kind of excitement that just can't be matched with anything else.

"This is way too spicy." I poke at the curry in the pot with my spoon, and I can almost see fumes rising. That's just too much for me.

"Emiya-san, you have to at least try it. I mean, you made it. I'd feel bad if I took it all and you didn't have some." She can say all that because she lost her taste buds. There's no way someone would feel bad in a situation like this. Ingesting this is poisonous, I know it.

"N-no Ciel-san, that's alright." I really want to back out of this without too much trouble, but...That look. She's given me this frightening look before. Like any disobedience will be subjugated to the most extreme of punishments. Meaning I have no choice. One simple word, eat is all she says. And I comply. Because I have no other choice.

'Burning sensation' doesn't even begin to describe what is happening right now in my mouth. I honestly think that my tongue is melting, and my taste buds are dying in a fiery inferno. I can't even swallow this it's so bad, at least not alone. I take a drink of water, and quickly hate my thought process.

Yeah, water is cold. This is hot, obviously this will cool it down. No, that's not how it works. All the water is doing is spreading the heat around as the phall runs down my throat into my stomach. The next half hour of my life is dedicated to cooling my mouth down to below 300°C while Ciel-san quietly enjoys her meal. I'd say something about her enjoying it, but the tears in my eyes make it very hard to see right now.

---

It's dark out now, meaning we need to get going. I put on my green, or emerald if you're Ciel-san, outfit and mentally prepare for the confrontation. There's just one problem now, "I'm heading out Ciel-san, take care of yourself. And don't do anything rash like try to follow me, you're in no condition." Ciel-san is sick.

It started around 6:30, an hour after she finished her curry, twenty minutes before I could feel my mouth again. She said she was feeling a little nauseous, and not long after she tripped over herself. She was really burning up when I checked her temperature. I've been taking care of her for around three hours, but now I need to go.

"Emiya-urhg-san." I stop before I head out the door and turn back to her. Her face is pretty pale, she's covered in blankets, and looks absolutely miserable on the couch. I tried to get her to go to her room, but she said she 'didn't want to deal with seven'. I have no idea what that means, but I didn't really want to make a fuss over it. It's not that big of a deal. "Tonight, you just need to patrol. Don't, don't go after the vampire. You'll just hurt yourself."

I don't like lying to people, really I don't, but in this case that's the best course of action. After what I saw last night, I can't let this monster run free, but if I tell Ciel-san the truth she'll force herself to come along. "Yeah Ciel-san. I'll just be doing lookout tonight." And with that, I head out. Only one thing is on my mind. That person from last night will not have died in vain. I will make sure of that.

---

There's a fatal flaw in my plan. Actually, now that I think of it, there's a few fatal flaws. First off, since I was so distracted last night I don't know the way to the castle. Second, I don't remember where we were before, so I don't know how to get to point A so I can go to point B. And third, I don't know if I'll even be able to see this castle. In a nutshell, I'm screwed without Ciel-san. On the bright side, at least it means I didn't lie to her.

"Cum historia mutat valde servator revelat ipsum primum daemon scelestus est." And that is the strangest thing I've ever heard. The voice isn't far away, and in fact seems to be getting a little louder every word.

"Cum potentia caenum daemon fundet mortem in terram deinde moritur." It's just barely a mezzo-soprano voice, and is very captivating truth be told.

"Cum somnus cum somnus finis. Servator surget surget iterum magnus heros est." She, I'm assuming it's a she, continues her song and I just stand there under a streetlight, waiting for her to arrive. But with every word the air becomes more and more tense.

"Cum somnus finis, servator surget iterum." After that, silence. I stand there, waiting for her to appear. I can only assume she's hostile, so there are a few weapons at the ready just in case. "Oh? Nothing to say for yourself? That's a shame, you shouldn't force a lady to talk." In contrast to her singing voice, when she speaks it's a higher pitch, which only adds to the majesty that I hear.

"I don't like speaking to shadows." Calm. I've got to stay calm. If I can't stay calm, I have to make it seem like I'm calm. I've got no reason to be nervous of this girl but, I can't help it. Every step she takes toward me scares me. A type of fear I don't think I've had since I first laid eyes on Berserker.

"Oooh, so calm, so poised, I like I like. But you can't fool me." She steps out into the light. I can't make out the details from this distance, but she looks to be about as tall as I am with long black hair.

"Who's fooling who?" I can't hear it, but I can feel it. My heart is beating so hard, but almost all of my senses are focused on this one person. She is someone who needs to be monitored. I can't underestimate her.

"Oh you poor poor boy. If that's the attitude you're going to take, then you're only fooling yourself. Enough of that though, what's a nice young man like yourself doing out so late at night? Don't you know what's been happening?"

"The same could be asked about you. I can at least protect myself from whatever's happening here. Can you say the same?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's not so dangerous out here. Besides, I just fancied a bite to eat, that's all." That sets off the trigger in my mind. This woman is the one I've been looking for. She's the reason I didn't get any sleep last night, why I might never get a decent night's sleep again.

I'm so glad I had them prepared. Now all it takes is two words. She doesn't know about it. I can take her by surprise. "Trace on!"Hrunting, Kaladbolg, Solais, and Trishula. All four of them hover in the air for less than a second before spiraling towards the woman across from me.

She never stood a chance. I was right in thinking she wouldn't be suspecting them, but I figured she would have gotten out of the way, or at least tried to. No, instead she took the brunt of all four at the same time. They easily end her life.

The toll I pay for stopping her is well worth it. I can't feel my left hand, and the rest of my body is flaring in pain. I shouldn't have tried to make Solais, I've only ever seen it once and I've never tried it before.

"Come now, that's not a very nice thing to do." No...no way. She couldn't have lived through that. It's not possible..."Why did you do that to me?" I was right, it wasn't possible. Another girl, exactly like the last one, emerges and stands beside the corpse.

"You know why I did it you monstrosity. What you do to stay alive is unforgivable." She made me think of it again. That woman from last night. How dare she make me relive that horror, that same horror she perpetrated. "Trace on!" Just like before, but I've doubled the amount. Now I can't feel the left side of my body.

"Hmm, so you did it because I want to stay alive? What a strange little boy. Still, you have a certain charm about you, I can't just go and kill you now. Well Alastair, what do you propose I do if I can't kill you?"

"Who are you calling Alastair you abomination?" More. I need more. Find it, find that place. Pull them all from there, pull the entire site if you have to. Just end this miserable being right now.

"Oh Alastair, you need to brush up on your English. But, there will be a better time for all of this. I know what you're doing, and it won't work. The beings you killed and the body that's in front of you right now aren't they look and sound exactly like me, they are merely shells which can be changed. That's something only I can do. As long as they are mine to command, I can make them look like me. Similar to Zepia, but I can control what I look like."

"So if that's not you, what's it doing?" A cold sweat has formed all over my skin, and goose-bumps litter my body. Just trying to make sense of this moment is hard enough, but I need to plan on how to find and kill her actual body if I'm going to make any progress.

"It's mainly here to talk to you. Though if I felt the need, I could gather some energy as well. You don't want me to do that, right Alastair? That's what I thought. So just listen. You are an intriguing person, and I'm going to make you mine. But not here. This place bores me. I'm done with France for now. Aside from that, executioner has become far too accustomed to being here, and I don't like something so one sided. I'm going to a place both of you can relate to so it's not so awkward. How does that sound? I'm a great person for doing this, right? Of course I am, I'll see you there Alastair. Don't keep me waiting."

And in the end, I couldn't do a thing. The bodies disappeared as soon as she was done talking. All that's left now is me and the echoes of her words. I can't think straight right now, so I guess I'll just try to figure it out on the walk home.

---

I don't know how long it took, but by the time I get back to Ciel-san's house it's already light out. I'm mentally and physically exhausted, but if she's awake I need to tell Ciel-san what happened. I can't figure it out, but maybe she can.

When I open the door, I see Ciel-san still lying on the couch. I think she's asleep, that's good. She looks better than when I went out, but she's still not back at one hundred percent. "Emiya-san, you're back." I guess I was wrong.

"Yeah, it was a long night. Sorry if I worried you. How are you feeling?"

It takes her a moment to answer. I'm not sure if she's looking for the right words or if she's still that sick. Regardless, her answer is "Better. How was the patrol?"

There's the million dollar question. I spend the next ten minutes or so going over every detail, excluding that I was looking for the castle in the first place. When I get to the part about the vampires powers, she stops me.

"Did you just say she can make other people look like her?" I give a slow nod, and her face tenses up. "And she said that that wasn't her real body?" Another nod, even tenser, you can't even tell she's sick she looks so serious. "Daeva."

"This is bad Emiya-san. Did anything else happen?" After I go over her exact words, Ciel-san tells me to start packing. "We're leaving. If what you said is right, she's going to Japan now. We can't leave her alone."

"Whoa whoa Ciel-san, lets start with you getting better. Besides, it takes time to get everything set up. We'll make a compromise, I'll get the tickets and all that, you tell me where we're going. Deal?"

"Fine." She grimaces as she sits up. She's still very tense, but seems to have eased up quite a bit. "We'll want to stay someplace that we know is safe. There's only two places in Japan I can think of that would be, and I'm not welcome in one of them. So, we'll stay at your house. Is the agreeable?"

"H-huh? Uh, yeah, th-that's fine. I'll get everything set up. Um...I guess I'll try and get tickets for tomorrow, does that work? Good, then, uh, get some rest Ciel-san. Just let me take care of everything."


	6. Chapter 5: Reunion

We're about an hour from touchdown right now. I've been trying to stay awake the entire flight, and somehow I've succeeded. Ciel-san, however, did not. She fell asleep pretty early and woke up just a minute ago. "Kirei should pick us up when we get there. After that we'll go to the church, and then we'll head back to my house."

"That sounds fine Emiya-san." A little bit of time passes before either of us says anything. "So, I was kind of wondering...What's your relationship with Kotomine?" It actually sounds like Ciel-san is dancing around the subject, like it's taboo. That's kind of funny.

"Ehehe, well, it's kind of complicated. Basically, he's helped me out a lot since we met. He's helped me understand and practice my powers, trained me in martial arts, given me a few crucial contacts, and overall he's just been a really good friend. It seems weird thinking about it"

Before the nostalgia washes over me, Ciel-san asks the easy to predict question. "Weird? What do you mean by weird?"

"Well, uh, that's kind of where it gets complicated. We first met two years ago during the grail war, and I couldn't stand him the moment I talked to him. At first I wasn't really sure why, and it was around two or three weeks later when I realized it; we're a lot like each other, we just use different methods."

I can't help but notice that after I said 'grail wars' a fair amount of people started staring at me. Note to self, keep it down, you're in public. "So...are you saying he wants to be a hero as well? That doesn't sound right."

Something went total wrong in our conversation. "Wait, what? No, no that's totally wrong. Kirei just wants to be happy. He just...doesn't get happiness like other people. He's kind of sadistic. But, he's been helping me a lot, and he hasn't done anything bad since I've known him. Aside from introducing me to Kariya." Buh-zing.

"Aside from doing what now?" Oh, that's right, Ciel-san doesn't know Kariya, does she? Wait, she knew Kirei, so why wouldn't she know Kariya? Oh well, that doesn't matter, she doesn't know so I should tell her.

"Oh, uh, she's one of Kirei's apprentices. I mean, uh, she's his only apprentice. We met about a year ago when she first showed up at the church." I can't believe it's already been a year. I wonder what she said to get Kirei to let her stay?

"So what's she like? Are you two going out or anything?" Wow. Ciel-san really has a talent with this kind of stuff, doesn't she?

"No! No no no no no! You've got that all wrong. We are not, and never will be, going out. Me and Kariya? That's...that's just weird. No, no she's definitely not my type. She's really, uh...mischievous. Yeah, that's a good word. You need to meet her to really understand her." I don't think that's actually true, but the sooner we get off the subject of Kariya the better."

"So you really have no interest in her? And she has no interest in you? Alright Emiya-san, I'll believe you for now. But I'm sure when we get there I'll find out the truth." The sly way she says that kind of makes me mad. Whatever, we'll be landing soon, so i can just wait it out and ignore her if I have to.

---

"Welcome back, Emiya Shirou." It only took us a few minutes to find Kirei after we got our luggage. Not like he's hard to see, the idiot's wearing his robes in public. Still, we would have found him sooner if he had a sign or something for us.

"Hey Kirei, thanks again for picking us up. I had to learn the hard way that I don't work well with long flights. How are you holding up Ciel-san?"

"I'm alright. A little tired, despite the nap I took. Thank you for picking us up Kotomine." As per usual Kirei doesn't make any visual cues to his feelings.

"The pleasure was all mine Ciel." However, I can sense an icy hostility in his voice that he's never had before. Not even when he was first dealing with me.

"....OK then, uh, let's get going. Where did you park the car Kirei?" I'm still kind of surprised that he knows how to drive, but I'll take what I can get at this point. I can't afford to waste money on a cab.

Kirei silently begins walking to where I guess the car is. He never gets both cues, it's either visual only or sound only. On the way there he brings up what is rapidly becoming a touchy subject in my little group. "Kariya has been eagerly awaiting your return."

Ciel-san laughs, and that little bit of anger I had earlier is sneaking up on me again. Because of that, my voice contains a little more venom than I wanted it to. "Joy. She'll probably follow us home, but try not to mind her too much Ciel-san."

With that out of the way I have a serious bone to pick with Kirei. "Honestly though, I thought you would have beaten that out of her by now." It's been over 12 months, shouldn't she start acting more like him?

"On the contrary, I have nurtured that side of her. I know how you enjoy it so much." Of course, now that I think about it, Kariya acting like Kirei kind of scares me. Wait, did Kirei just crack a joke?

"You sadistic priest. Yeah yeah, get your kicks in now, things won't be so great soon enough." Let's hope that's because she moves on from me and starts to bug him instead of...well, I don't know what else would happen, but I'm sure it's not good for me.

"We shall see. Also, when you have a moment I have something I wish to speak with you about. It has to do with my studies." Ugh, I can't believe he's still on this. I've moved on, why can't he?

"You're still at that? Yeah, alright, I'll talk with you some time later. Will tomorrow work? We just got back and a little down time would be nice."

Kirei nods silently as we finally reach the car. "Yes, that is fine. It will give me a little time to properly organize everything." As we drive towards the fairly ominous church, I can only wonder at two things. First; shouldn't he have had everything organized by now? I mean, I've been gone for roughly two weeks, and I wasn't even here all that long before. And two; is Ciel-san going to fall asleep in the car?

---

You know, I really feel nostalgic about this place. It feels like I haven't been here in forever, when it's been maybe two weeks. These huge doors, this cold hall, and the uncomfortable pews. And then there's the people here. "I'm back."

I don't say that to anyone in particular, but I know that Kariya's nearby listening. And right on time, she pops out...from one of the pews. I guess she was taking a nap again. "Emiya's back! So, how'd it go?"

So nosy. "Well, let's just say I've had better missions." That's a complete understatement so far, but with any luck we'll be turning that around soon.

"So it was a complete and utter failure?" I guess she chose to take the high road and not make mention of the fact that I've only had one other mission.

"You don't need to say it like that!" She can be so stupid sometimes. She doesn't even know what it's like out there.

"I do or you don't get it." Her voice is really flat when she says that, like it's some kind of fact that everyone is supposed to know.

"You really don't. Man, you're getting to be as bad as Kirei." A female version of Kirei...such thoughts should never come into my being again. Ever.

"Oh? What'd he do this time?" She sounds so bored right now. But I guess this is normal for us. Though I really question my choice in friends if this is normal.

"He threatened me with something so horrible I can't even begin to describe it to you." Well, there's that, and the fact that if I told her it after saying all that stuff she'd kill me.

Interrupting our seemingly poisonous jabs is a muffled laugh from the one person we forgot. Well, we forgot Kirei too, but he doesn't laugh. "Uh, Emiya? Who's that?" And Kariya proves she's blind.

"This is Ciel-san, she's my partner in this mission. She's actually probably the only reason I'm still alive right now. But, uh, Ciel-san? Why are you laughing?"

She quickly stops laughing and scrambles to find an answer. "Oh, uh, it's nothing. I just...just remembered a funny joke. That's all."

"What joke might that be?" Wow, where did that come from? Kariya sounds like Ciel-san just insulted her or something. I don't think I've seen her this hostile before. Even looking at her, she looks like she's about to pounce on Ciel-san and tear her apart.

"Hey, Kariya, what's with that?" I have to whisper so as not to offend Ciel-san. "No need to be so weird, OK? Now please, please try and get along with Ciel-san. I just want things to be as easy as possible alright? Besides, you both work for the church, don't you have some kind of unspoken bond or something?"

"While I appreciate the effort Emiya-san, things don't usually work like that." And it appears whispering was entirely useless.

"Yeah Shirou, things don't work like that." Crap, need to diffuse the situation quick.

"Alright, well, uh, we've kind of got some things to take care of, so, uh, nice seeing you again Kariya. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Uh...bye." Wait, did she just call me Shirou?

---

It was another awkward, silent, long walk home. Made even worse thanks to luggage. We didn't have much, but that's an hour long walk, adding anything makes it very uncomfortable. But, I can see the house now.

Walking in, it doesn't look like anyone's been here since I left. I guess that's good, but it makes me wonder what Fuji-nee's been up to. "Alright Ciel-san, you'll be staying in the detached building right out there, the bathroom's down that way, and this is the living room and kitchen. I think that's about it...Oh yeah, I don't know how long you'll be here, so we'll probably be getting a frequent visitor starting tomorrow. I actually think they're on break now, so I wouldn't put it past her to stay here the entire time."

"That's fine with me Emiya-san. I'm actually going to be now. I'm probably going to leave tomorrow for a few days. While I'm gone, don't worry about patrolling at night. Just watch the news and look for signs of strange murders or people missing."

Ciel-san really does sound tired right now, and probably should get some sleep...but still, I need to talk to her. "That's fine by me. Kariya will probably show up too. Could you please try and get along with her? As a favor to me?"

"It's not my fault if she's so hostile. I haven't done anything to deserve that kind of treatment, and if she keeps it up I will respond in kind." It's rare to hear Ciel-san sound so cold, but it's not out of character for her. Still, I need to press on.

"I know, I know. She was out of line and you did nothing to deserve that. But still, she's one of the few people I can talk to, and it would really mean a lot if you two would just try and tolerate each other."

Ciel-san sighs and starts massaging her temples out of what seems to be frustration. "Fine, I will _try_ to get along with her. But if she doesn't try as well, all bets are off."

"Thank you Ciel-san, this really means a lot. Um, I'm going to make some dinner now, do you want me to wake you when I'm done?" It's kind of embarrassing, but I'm really really happy she'd do something like that for me.

"No, that's fine. I don't think I'm going to come out of this sleep for a while. Well, anyway, goodnight Emiya-san."Yeah, it makes me really, really glad.

---

The air is thin here. They can't stay for long, not this high up. In front of them is a mountain. However, it is not an ordinary mountain. "This is it kid. I'm not sure how you'll get to it, but here it is."

They both look up at the staggering slab of rock that is hovering in the air. On top of that mountain, he is sure, lies their destination. "R-Really? I can't see anything." And therein lies the problem. To the boy that has been brought along, in front of him is merely an empty plain. He is only looking at the passing clouds.

"There's your biggest problem." Armstrong feels relief at this. He can't get to it, he can't do anything. "You don't know how to find it, or get to it, and I don't know how to help you. However, now you know it's here, so it will be easier to find it again." That's a lie. He knows how this boy can see the mountain. But he doesn't want him to see it.

"I suppose you are right." The boy sighs, as he has been taken back to square one. "Thank you Armstrong-san. I guess we should mark this on the map and head back. Um, when we get back, I'll have the money wired to you. I promise. I just,"

" Don't worry about it. I understand that you didn't bring that much with you. You'd be asking for trouble if you did. And I feel kinda bad about only being able to get you this far, so if you need help with anything else, I'll give you a discount."

The boy laughs. Because this person is so honest, he thinks. Because this man has no reason to be this kind, but he is. "Thank you Armstrong-san. I'm sure I will be using your services again sometime soon."

This hits Armstrong hard. It's true, he really will want his services again. "That's good enough for me." He stutters over his words again. The fear is back. "Lets head back, the air here is too thin anyway." And Armstrong knows it will never go away.

---

She had been pacing around all day, her mind racing all the while. There's no real reason for it, she's just restless. At least, that's what she keeps telling herself.

It's all his fault. Stupid Emiya and his stupid comments and that stupid Executor. Blue haired bimbo. She's so weird. Who dies their hair blue?

While she is ranting to herself, she can't help but notice how he isn't even paying attention. What's he doing that's so important anyway? "Kotomine, what are you doing?" Her voice is unintentionally sharp, but the priest either doesn't notice or care.

Without looking up from his books, he responds "Research," and continues to flip through the pages. This is the result of two years of on-again-off-again research done solely for his own pleasure. And tomorrow is the day it all comes together.

"Well what are you researching?" The venom in her voice refuses to leave. Since she can't take it out on the cause, she can take it out on it's friend.

"Zoroastrianism." His words are monotone as per usual, and he lazily continues to read. And yet, at the back of his mind, he can feel a slight tingling.

"Zoroastrianism? What's that? Sounds like some kind of bad superhero name." That should have been better, I'm wittier than that.

"It is a religion originating around the Mesopotamia area a few thousand years ago." That X factor that always eluded him, the one thing he could never master, is once again coming back to haunt him.

"Religion? Isn't that blasphemous?" Her thoughts are starting to dissipate. Passive aggressive venting has helped her more than she had any idea it would.

Her comment actually catches his interest. He places the book marker on the right page, and closes the book. "Kei, you do know that I was once a part of the association, right?" She slowly nods, like it was a vague memory at the fringes of her mind. "Then why on earth do you pick my theological studies to claim I'm blasphemous?"

She doesn't have a good reason, they both know it. She doesn't like it, he doesn't care, but still he waits while she scrambles. "B-because I didn't know you then, and I do now. A-anyway, why are you studying this...stuff?"

Finally, she says something interesting. His smirk returns as he gives his answer. "I am researching this as a favor to Emiya Shirou."

Wait, why does Emiya need to know about this stuff? The first mention of the young idealist takes her thoughts away from Kirei. "What does Emiya have to do with Zora...Zoa....This?"

"It has everything to do with Emiya Shirou. If not for Zoroastrianism we would never have met. And I'm sure he would love to hear about Spenta." The thought of his meeting tomorrow fills him with ecstasy.

"S-Spenta? What's that? Wait, no, I don't think I want to know. It's probably something weird. You're weird Kotomine." Drained, the girl wanders away with a few parting words. "Whatever, I'm going to bed. Make sure you don't let _that_ person in here."

The priests mind is has now focused solely on the girls words. That person. "I'm afraid I can not do that Kei. Though I am not fond of Ciel, I can not turn people away from this church if they have need of it." A woman like that has no need for church, she has no need for even god. Such a woman should never have been allowed to join the order. That much, he knows.

---

My world has been rocked. Last night I called Fuji-nee to let her know I was back. She wasn't there. Not only was she not there but...she was on a date. In the twelve years I've known her, I have never heard of Fujimura Taiga going out on a date. It's absurd.

I mean, sure, she'd brag about how she used to be asked out all the time when she was "my age", shortly before telling me I should get a girlfriend, but I just thought she was blowing smoke out her ears. Well, this doesn't mean she wasn't, but it doesn't stop it from being weird.

However, I'm sure she got my message, and I'm sure she'll be here today. To be honest, I'm kind of conflicted. I want to know how it was and who he is, but wouldn't that be rude. I hear the door sliding open, that's got to be her. Decision time; do I ask? "Shirou's back!"

Before I have time to answer her, she charges into me and hugs as hard as she can. She may not look it, but she's pretty strong for her size. "Calm down Fuji-nee. I've only been gone a few weeks."

Simple answer; no. "Yeah, but you keep leaving me. How am I supposed to get food if you keep going new places?" I 'keep leaving her' and all she cares about is food? Such a selfish tiger.

"You know, you could try making your own, you sponge. Who all are you sponging off of now?" She puffs out her cheeks in an act of defiance.

"Hey, that's not a nice thing to say about someone! And besides, I'm not sponging off of anyone. Just because you and grampa like doing things for me doesn't mean I'm a sponge."

"Except Laiga and I don't like doing this, you force us to. Whatever, breakfast will be ready in a few minutes."

"Yaay! So Shin said you sounded really tired when you called yesterday. Are you OK?" Dost mine ears deceive me? Is that genuine concern? Well, I shouldn't be too surprised, despite her strange attitude towards....everything, she's always cared about me.

"Ah, yeah, I've been a little tired. Work is tough. But even with all that, it's really fulfilling." Yeah, the happy faces make everything worth it...

Just then we hear the door to the backyard open up. In comes a well rested Ciel-san still wearing her pajamas. "Good morning Emiya-san." She actually looks pretty cute.

"Hey Ciel-san, I hope you slept well. Breakfast should be ready in a few minutes, and I've got a curry side dish for you."

Her face lights up at the mention of curry. I don't think I will ever understand her obsession for it. That reminds me, isn't Kirei a bit of a curry fanatic? I don't see him eating it all the time, but once every month he gets some obscenely spicy curry and just feasts on it. "Mmmm. Thanks Emiya-san. And yes, I did sleep well."

I can feel a smile cross my face at this news. "Hey Shirou?" Fuji-nee finally speaks up. Here it comes. "Who is this?" Ciel-san Fuji-nee. "And she's having breakfast with us?" Yes, yes she is. "Oh, OK." Give it another thirty seconds...

"**WHAAAAT?!** Shirou how could you!? You're not even back for one day and you've already brought a girl into your house?! And she's having breakfast with us?! Wait...does that mean....**SHE SPENT THE NIGHT?! **Shirou you big meanie! I'm gonna kill you!"

She jumps at me and tries to beat me down. However, she's underestimating me. I move out of the way and she falls flat on her face. "Fuji-nee, this is Ciel-san. She's my business partner and I thought it would be rude to ask her to stay at a hotel while we're here."

It took me the entire night to think up that excuse, but it seems to have worked. "I'm sorry about all this Ciel-san, this is the person I told you about yesterday. She treats me like a kid sometimes, but she can be pretty nice sometimes." Shortly after that I can feel a dull pain in the back of my head. "Hey! What was that for?!"

"I treat you like a kid because you are a kid!" Says the woman who solves minor disputes with violence. "You should have told me earlier! Hi, I'm Fujimura Taiga." I don't know why, but I can sense some kind of cool hostility in her voice when talking to Ciel-san.

Ciel-san shakes her hand and does a normal greeting before heading off to the bathroom. "I didn't tell you about her because I forgot you stupid Tiger. That's no reason to hit me." I didn't forget, I just cowered out of it. Two times for one person, I'm setting new records. "Anyway, the food should be done by now. Do you think you can behave?" She sticks her tongue out at me. "Well then, lower portions for you." After that comment she complains the entire way through breakfast.

---

True to her word, after breakfast Ciel-san left. She said something about getting help, so I can only assume another person is invading my house. Well, so long as we can stop Daeva, I think that's what she was called, everything's fine.

Fuji-nee left the house a little before Ciel, saying she "had a few things to take care of." I don't think she likes Ciel-san much...what's everyone's problem with her anyway? I mean, I can kind of understand Kariya, scratch that, no I can't, but Fuji-nee was just completely out of nowhere. I don't think I've ever seen her this hostile to a relative stranger before.

I push past the doors to note the quiet church, as per usual. What's not usual is that I can't hear Kariya at all, even while walking to Kirei's 'lounge'. That's where he spends most of his time inside the church, and it's where he conducts most of his research.

When I enter the dimly lit room Kirei is reading an old looking book, which begs the question how he doesn't need glasses. "Alright Kirei, I'm here. What's this all about?"

He looks up from the book completely lacking that look of his that he's been showing lately. Instead he's super serious, and it shows in his voice. "That can wait Emiya Shirou, we have something else to talk about first."

That's fine, there's just one thing that's annoying me. "Kirei, we've known each other for two years. I've practically lived here for most of that time, why do you insist on calling me Emiya Shirou?"

"Because it is your name. Or am I mistaken?" Stupid priest. "Setting that aside, I wish to talk to you about the Executor." Ciel-san? Well, he's got my interest now. "It has come to my attention that Kei is not fond of her."

I really shouldn't, he's waiting for me to do it, but I can't help it. "Really now? Because they were getting along so well yesterday, I can only wonder where this lack of fondness comes from. What about you Kirei? How do you feel about Ciel-san?"

He hesitates for a moment before speaking, a concerned look on his face. "I am not one to tell you whom to associate yourself with. However, I will say this, that woman has secrets. These are things you will want to know, but you must find them out yourself. I will say nothing more on that subject though, as we have more pressing matters to attend Holy Grail War,"

And here it goes. Every few months Kirei feels this insatiable urge to bring that whole fiasco up. Usually he passes it off as some kind of 'Hey, you remember when...' type of thing, but lately he's been doing research into the intricacies of it all and making sure I know about it. I'm pretty sick of it to tell you the truth. "Unless the next words out of your mouth are 'Another one is starting', I don't want to hear about it."

He gets that smirk back pretty fast, meaning he's still going to go on. "You should not lie Emiya Shirou, you are far too easy to read. Regardless, you know very well that Lord El-Melloi put a stop to that. No, what I have to say deals with the grail itself. As you know, I've been studying Zoroastrianism for some time now,"

And I have officially tuned out. Every time there's a pause in his speech, I tell Kirei yep, or OK, or things like that. "As you are also well aware of, the Holy Grail was tainted by Angra Manyu, a child from Zoroastrianist legends. My most recent discovery on the matter is that he was not an only child."

He finally catches on to the fact that I'm passive aggressively telling him I don't care, and berates me. "Emiya Shirou, I am not forcing you to pay attention, but I would appreciate it if you would stop pretending you don't care."

I answer with a whatever and he scowls before continuing. "Angra Manyu was the elder of a pair of twins. While he was made to be all the evils of the world, his brother Spenta was made to be all the good in this world, and they were forced to fight each other. In the end, he hunted down and killed his brother."

You know, this may be interesting to some people, but I don't really care. "What exactly does this have to do with...well, anything?"

"I am merely pointing out the fact that your actions were not the only course that could have been taken two years ago. I am sure that, had we summoned Spenta Manyu, we could have purified the Grail without the deaths of Tohsaka Rin, Ilyasviel von Einzbern, or even Matou Sakura."

Those three...I...No, it doesn't matter. "It's not like we can do anything about it now. Besides, we shouldn't be mucking up the past, no matter how much we may want to change things." I say we, but I mainly mean me.

"Oh? So changing the past would 'muck it up'?" God damn it Kirei, sometimes you're unbearable.

"Pretty much. I mean, I didn't want to kill any of them, but it was the only thing we could do at the time. It was what needed to be done. They were a threat...to everyone."

Thinking about it though, maybe Kirei was trying to help me. Maybe he thought this would make me feel better about that whole mess or something. I don't know, but we're friends, so I don't think he was trying to make me feel like this on purpose. "Anyway, I'm gonna head home now. I haven't cleaned the house in a while, so it's pretty messy."

"Well, that is all I had to say, so I guess this is an appropriate time for you to leave. Is the Executor gone, or should I tell Kariya not to bother?" I kind of laugh as a response. "I suppose I shall tell her to head over there then. If that is all, goodbye Emiya Shirou."

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow or something. Bye." But, there's one more thing. "Uh, Kirei? Um, well, what I mean to say is, uh....Thanks." He grins and nods as I leave. I don't know if there's any significance in that, but I'll take what I can get.

---

She had forgotten so much. It had been maybe six months, but she forgot everything about this city. She never planned on returning, but circumstances change. Now which way was it to his house?

It had taken her four hours by train to get here, which really wasn't as long as she though it would be. As she rode the train, a few select thoughts constantly moved around in her head. They were all about the same person.

She spent an hour looking before she found a landmark she could use. Alright, if I'm here...he would be that way. That will be around forty five minutes. And so, she heads towards her destination, her heart beating faster every step of the way.

The gate hasn't changed at all, well, it might have rusted a little bit. But that's probably just her eyes. She leaps over the fence easily, knowing that opening it would be a hassle for everyone involved. The house itself hasn't changed at all, and most especially the scenery by the door hasn't changed.

She's still standing outside, just those same clothes, with the same hair style. No, wait, it might be a little shorter. She must have just gotten it cut. "Hey! Maid-san! Is Tohno-kun home?"

"If you are looking for Shiki-sama, I'm afraid he is not here at the moment." She has a twang of lament in her voice and a distant look in her eyes.

But, to the woman from the church, none of that matters. "Oh, OK. I suppose I can wait for him them. The sitting room is this way right?" She barges into the almost nostalgic mansion, much to the dismay of the maid.

"That is..."She cuts herself off when she sees the all too familiar woman isn't listening to her. All she can do at this point is apologize to her employer. "My apologies Akiha-sama." She even whispers it, just in case.

This hall, these stairs, that smell. It all reminds her of him. And someone else, someone she has the urge to have fun with. "Akihaaaa! Tohno Akihaaaaa! Are you in here?"

That voice...No. It can't be. When she heard the door opening, she figured it was just Hisui coming back in, meaning Nii-san was still gone. But that voice..."It can't be..."

"There you are! Tohno Akiha, it has been far too long. You haven't grown an inch since I left have you? Or, at the very least, your chest hasn't."

She barges into my house uninvited, mocks me, and I'm sure she's here to try and steal Nii-san from me. "Get out! Out! Get out of my house!"

"Calm down Akiha-chan, I'm not here for you. I'm just waiting for Tohno-kun." She calls me Akiha-chan?! Does her insolence ever end?!

"If you are waiting for Nii-san, you can do it elsewhere! I do not want you in my house!" She is calmed down by her longtime friend and personal maid, who seems to have appeared out of nowhere.

" Now now Akiha-san, that's no way to treat a guest of Shiki-sans. Ciel-san, I'm afraid Shiki-san isn't in right now. He has not been home for quite some time, and we do not know when he will be returning." Her smile never fades, and her voice never dips. This one will never change.

" He's gone? Well that puts a damper on things. Well, if you happen to see him within a few weeks, let him know I stopped by." With any luck, he'll show up soon so we don't have to take long with The Daeva. Besides, it will be nice to see him again.

Before Akiha can yell again, a surprising noise is heard. The door opens, and the surprised Hisui can't help but shout. "Shiki-sama! W-Welcome back!" Their target has returned.

"Ah, thanks Hisui. But seriously, stop calling me Shiki-sama. We know each other better than that." They can't stop themselves from thinking that his voice is deeper. More sensual, warmer.

They can hear his every step, but only one of them can even move...and she moves right in front of Ciel's vision. "Shiki-san! Welcome back."

"Thanks Kohaku-san. It's nice to be home. Hey Akiha, and is that...Ciel-senpai?!" He is happily surprised, but her reaction is the exact opposite. She is horrified at what she sees.

He's a few centimeters taller than she remembers, his hair is longer, and it seems like he's seen more sun. But that's not why she wishes she hadn't come. On his face, on his _eyes_, it's completely bandaged.

"T-Tohno...kun..." Whatever she had wanted to say is no longer possible. Of course, she was never really sure of what she would do. Would she talk to him? Embrace him? Tell him she loved him? It doesn't really matter now.

"It is you! Wow, I almost didn't recognize you with your hair that long. What are you doing here? I thought you went back to France?"

His sister is still sitting in her chair, annoyed that this foreigner gets more attention than she does. But, he's back, so it will be alright. "I-It doesn't matter what I did! Tohno-kun what happened?!" She sounds almost frantic, but that's not to be surprised.

"Oh, this? Well, uh," Before he gets a chance to explain himself, his sister interrupts him. She wants this dog to leave her house as soon as possible, but she's also mad at her brother, and needs to release her frustrations now or things will get even worse. He might even leave again.

"Nii-san, don't you think that can wait? You just got home, and we still haven't had a chance to talk about what has been wrong with you these past few months."

Shiki can't help but shrink back as she yells at him. He remembers how everything went down, and he's not happy that he made her sad or angry or anything, but he did what he felt he had to do. "W-well, Akiha, it's not like we won't have time to talk. I just need to talk with Ciel-san first. We'll talk all you want later, OK?" He doesn't give her a chance to respond, and hopes that shifting his attention to Ciel will help calm his sister down. He's wrong. "So, Ciel-san, did you stop by to just say hi, or what?"

"N-no, I just," she struggles to find the words. How can she ask him for help, seeing the condition that he's in? But still, she feels the need to explain herself. "I, I did go back to France, and I just recently came back to Japan. There's another Vampire, and, uh..."

"Do you mean to tell me that you were trying to get Nii-san to help you with this after what happened last time?!"

"Well, I did, but, after seeing his condition, I can't..." She feels disgusting now for having even thought of using Tohno Shiki to help her. Yes he would be an asset, but he doesn't belong in this world, in her world.

"What condition?" He sounds genuinely confused, which transfers easily over to her. "You mean this? This is nothing senpai. And if there's a vampire here I should help. I mean, you did come all this way. Oh, uh, I do have a request though. I'd like to stay the night here, so I can talk with Akiha and Hisui-san and Kohaku-san a little."

She couldn't possibly take his help, but at the same time her desire just to be with him again is enough to make the words slip out. "Yes, that...that's fine. I will be here to pick you up tomorrow at eleven. Is that alright?"

Stupid stupid stupid. Why did you do that? After all this you're still as selfish as ever. "That works for me. Would you like to stay for dinner?" His question isn't surprising, nor is her answer. What with his younger sister glaring at her as though she was some demon here to kill everything she loves.

"No, no, I couldn't possibly intrude. So, um, I'll see you tomorrow then Tohno-kun." They exchange goodbyes and she hurries out of the house, still cursing at herself for involving him.

---

A girl in purple clothes with silver hair..."I pity you Shirou."

A girl in red with an unwavering determination..."I won't let anyone else take my place."

A man clad in robes with all knowing eyes... "You have become just like Emiya Kiritsugu."

A man in red who's hatred has driven him for so long... "You won't be able to handle that path. You aren't strong enough."

The girl in purple who's sadness and anger will never cease... "You aren't my Onii-chan anymore."

A cheerful girl with black hair... "You stopped caring."

A girl with long purple hair who has haunted his dreams... "You made things better."

A woman in blue who has helped him more than she will ever know... "Do you know what that's like? To be denied the one thing you wanted?"

The man in red who's anger has been replaced by pity... "The once beautiful dream I had became tainted."

A young boy who's life had just been reset... "Let me take on your dream. I'll make it come true."

And the man who he admired, who's past haunted him until his death... "Yeah...I'm relieved."

This is his life. Such tragedy, such foolhardiness, such misfortune. It is almost enough to bring forth her emotions again. But she has a job to do, and if her master were to discover this it will all have been in vain.

"Who are you?" He is aware of his surroundings now, perfect. This opportunity will never come again.

"Do not worry about who I am Emiya Shirou, just listen to what I have to say. The enemy you are facing is nothing like you have ever seen. She will use tactics you will not be prepared for. Your mind must be of steel, you must block out all illusions. Your only objective for the time being, the only thing that should be in your mind when you meet her, is the unwavering desire to kill her. If there is anything but that desire within you, you will fail."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because Emiya Shirou, this is the only way in which I will be freed. This is the only thing I will ever ask of you Emiya Shirou, please kill my Master. Prove to me that you are the hero you have always dreamed of being."

"Yeah...a hero. That's what I am...I'm....a....he....ro...." His consciousness slips away once again. Her missions complete, now she must report back to her Master. All the while, she must forget everything that she has said. If her master finds out, her life will be even more miserable than she can imagine.


	7. The End

I hate to say it, but the time has come. I can not continue this story anymore. I enjoyed the time I had with it, but I don't have it in me to go on. I've still got a basic idea of how the story would progress, so if you want to know how it ends or whatever, just message me either here or at chris_ and I'll let you know. Or hell, if you want to pick it up yourself, go for it. I doubt anyone would want to, but I thought I'd throw it out there. The two big things that are taking up time are, uh, in a word, school, and a big project. For more info on this big project(if you're an artist we are in desperate need of you) go to

Beasts Lair....which it's not letting me link you to. But, google it, it's the first thing up.

We're in the Seventh Dimension, under Project M.I.L.K.


End file.
